Pranksterz
by Pretty Nacho
Summary: All Naruto did was poke a dead body with a stick. Now she's in a place named after a pig's warts. Luckily, with her newfound prankster friends Fred and George it isn't too boring. FEM!NARU Most likely Fred/George/Naruto
1. Chapter 1

**Pranksterz**

**By: Pretty Nacho**

_I do not own Naruto or Harry Potter_

**Quick Note; Takes place in Harry's fourth year and after Pein attacks Konoha. Naruto did not go out of the village to try to convince the Raikage to spare Sasuke. Tsunade is not in a coma from chakra loss. Naruto is a female in this story. **

**NEW AN (12.17.10): So yeah, I went back and spaced this chapter, fixed a few spelling errors I found, etc. Nothing's changed except for that. (:  
**

* * *

"Ha-ha, Iruka, pink is your color, I promise!" A small blonde whined, as the killing intent increased.

"Really?" Iruka replied eyes glinting, "I think it looks rather ridiculous." And it did in fact look tremendously ridiculous. The once brown hair was now a bright shade of neon pink and fell in curls down the Chunin's back. His beloved vest was also ruined; it had been replaced by a fluffy pink…thing with tasteless fringe surrounding it.

"Ridiculous? Pft, it isn't ridiculous, it's incredibly fashionable, you look like a diva!" the blonde said, gesturing her hands in an odd manner, "See, look everyone is smiling at you." Iruka sputtered and waved his arms (covered in sparkly pink gloves) spastically. The blonde fifteen year-old took this as her cue to make like a clone and poof. "Bye Iruka-sensei! Have fun trying to rebuild your schoolhouse in high-heels!"

"NARUTO YOU GET BACK HERE YOU-"

Iruka's screams echoed throughout the village. People chuckled as the orange-clad savior ran happily down the streets. However, her merry-making was abruptly stopped by an official looking ANBU. The ANBU solemnly handed Naruto a note that read that she had been summoned by the Hokage. Mock-saluting the ANBU, Naruto skipped towards the tower which was actually only half of what it once was. Naruto dashed to Tsunade's office and flung open the door, well not really flung, she tried to fling it, but the door swung off of its hinges and crashed into the remains of the mahogany shelf that used to be perched at the corner of the room.

"Ha-ha-ha, oops, my bad baa-chan," Naruto said, scratching the back of her head and smiling.

Tsunade's eyes twitched dangerously, "No problem." Naruto glanced at the Hokage who was looking oddly serious, which was actually a quite humorous sight for half of the room was torn off and you could see the whole village behind her.

"Naruto," The Hokage started in a deadly voice . "I am sending you out on a mission."

Naruto smiled, happy to do something for her village, "What is it baa-chan? Do I have to like fight off super-cool ninjas while protecting precious jewels and items?"

"Brat," Tsunade's eyes twitched again, "shut up and learn to respect your elders, apparently, some people have experience an odd tugging feeling around the area of God-Mode Pein's death. We aren't sure what it is. I wanted to send an ANBU, but the council was adamant that you take this mission, saying that you were the one who defeated Pein, so that it was only fitting."

Naruto chuckled uncomfortably, "Well you know the council…it takes a lot more than saving the lives of everyone to be worth something in their eyes. But I'll be right back, I'm sure it's nothing. This 'tugging feeling' is probably just people being paranoid." Tsunade nodded as Naruto began to walk out of the hole where the door used to be.

"Good bye Naruto, stay safe." Tsunade waved, heart going out to her younger sister.

Naruto nodded before she stopped so suddenly that Tsunade almost fell out of her chair. Naruto smacked her forehead, "What am I thinking?" And with that, she turned around to Tsunade, ran and jumped out and ran down the side of the Hokage Tower.

Tsunade shook her head, her eye twitching once again, she should really have Shizune check it out, just to make sure it hadn't become permanent, "Show-off."

Naruto ran out of the village nodding to the guards as she went. She followed the mini-path of destruction she and Pein had created, before she came upon the place. And as it turned out, the allegations were correct; there was an odd tugging feeling coming from the point of Pein's death, it felt as if something was pulling her towards the body. She approached it slowly and cautiously and then did something that no ninja should ever do ever. She picked up a nearby stick and started poking the dead body. She giggled at the squishing sound it made and was about to write the phenomenon off as nothing of importance when she was blinded by an orange light and promptly sucked through what felt like a tube.

* * *

A few seconds later she was thrust (still holding the oddly smooth stick) onto a chair. She could vaguely feel that someone was moving under her before a hat was placed on her head. _Hm, a brave one this is, a bit ditzy and innocent, but with a thirst for knowledge and a sneaky streak too._

Now Naruto was properly freaked out. This hat was inside of her _mind_.

She grabbed the hat off of her head, threw it on the ground and began stomping on it repeatedly. "DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE!" She was stopped by a loud gasping noise and a cry of, **GRYFFINDOR!** from the odd hat.

She turned around and finally noticed through her super-ninja observant skills that her surroundings were quite different from the forests of Konoha. Seeing the horrified looks on everyone's faces she decided to the smart thing and introduced herself.

"HEY GUYS, MY NAME IS UZUMAKI NARUTO, DATTEBAYO!" She waved around the stick in her hand and was surprised as pretty gold and red sparks flew from it, she stared at the stick, mesmerized. The whole room burst into applause and whistles. _"What an odd group of people."_

* * *

During the opening ceremony of Hogwarts, there was nothing like seeing the terrified expressions on the ickle first-year's face as they clambered up to be sorted that cheered up Ron, Hermione, Harry, and the twins more. Of course the twins opened the ceremony by pulling off a most memorable prank. I do not want to go into details but it included gunpowder, fireworks, and oddly enough cat-nip. The whole thing was rather joyous despite the incident at the World Cup, but that was in the past, and everyone just felt like enjoying themselves and preparing for another fantastical year at Hogwarts.

The hat of course sang a song. The whole thing was rather fuzzy for all them because the twin's were too busy flirting, Ron was occupied by mince pies, Hermione was distracted because of the disgusting noises produced by Ron, and Harry was staring at Cho Chang, the only thing that _really _ran through his mind was, _"Pretty."_

Then came the sorting, the twin's stopped flirting, Ron dropped his pies, Hermione sighed in relief, and Harry…well he kept on staring. And his thoughts were still among the lines of that before.

McGonagall was halfway through the list. Her painted fingers stopped on the next name. "Harvey, Mervin." Her clipped voice cut through the hall. A tentative brown-haired freckled boy stepped up and walked slowly towards the small chair. The poor thing was shaking. McGonagall smirked, _"Fresh meat."_The boy sat down and stared at the hall. Hoping to get this over with as fast a he can, the boy closed his eyes. McGonagall, feeling very sadistic took her time. She picked the hat up ever so slowly and down it descended.

_**Poof.**_

The hat landed on a head of soft blonde hair. The hat was on for a world-record of three seconds. Before it was torn off and thrown onto the floor.

"DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!" The girl yelled stomping on the poor hat. ….Wait a second. McGonagall peered down and there was the small first year, wheezing and gasping for breath that had been cut off from being landed on. She looked up once more to see a short (but still taller than all of the first-years) blonde haired girl wearing a garish orange costume. So…a dress code violator, huh? McGonagall was about to reach out to the girl when she stopped and looked around, seemingly lost.

The girl then screamed out, "GUYS MY NAME IS UZUMAKI NARUTO, DATTEBAYO!" McGonagall clutched her poor ears, _"So loud."_The girl brandished her wand in the air letting out a brilliant display of red and gold sparks. The students burst into loud applause, thinking it was all a show.

McGonagall glanced at Dumbledore who gave her the signal. Forcing herself to be polite, she tapped the girl's shoulder. The girl turned around and blinked owlishly at McGonagall.

"You're old." The girl said bluntly.

_"Fuck polite."_McGonagall thought, and she harshly grabbed the girl by her left ear and began to drag her to Dumbledore's office.

Everyone watched with horror as the poor thing was dragged by the ear towards Dumbledore's office. Ron leaned towards Harry, "Damn mate, these first years are _hardcore._ Very first day and McGonagall's already going to devour her brains."

Harry nodded in agreement absently. _"Cho is pretty."_

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**Whoo, that's the end for the first chapter. Review please? O: I'm really hoping that this'll actually get reviews.**

**So tell people about it.**

**Remember, this is supposed to be comedy/parody, oh there'll be a plot…kind of, probably not. O:**

**No there isn't going to be any Harry bashing, trust me. xD **

**Naruto is almost definitely going to be with Fred and George, okay? **

**NEW AN:/ Yay, it's done. On to work on chapter 2. **

**cheers. **

**-Nacho **


	2. Chapter 2

**Pranksterz**

**By: Pretty Nacho**

**NEW AN:/ (12.17.10) Edited and spaced, like the one before, once again, you don't need to re-read it. (: **

_I do not own Naruto or Harry Potter_

* * *

Naruto winced as the cruel lady dragged her away. _"Man she's worse than grandma Tsunade!"_The lady glared at her. _"Fuck, I said that out loud didn't I? I really need to stop doing that!"_

The lady stopped in front of two big double doors. She opened then, shoved Naruto inside and closed the door quickly. Naruto grumbled at the tell-tale click of a lock moving into place, she could get out if she truly wanted to, lock or no lock. A few minutes later she was joined by an old man. Well, old isn't really the word to describe the man, more like obscenely old, or better yet, ancient. Anyway, point is, someone else entered the room. He smiled at Naruto as his eyes twinkled.

"Come here and sit down." The ancient guy said, pointing to a colorful beanbag.

Naruto shook her head, "No, I'm pretty sure that thing would eat me." She backed up slightly, eying the man.

The old man chuckled, "Suit yourself. Fancy a lemon drop?" He held out a tray with glittering yellow candies. Naruto concluded that the man seemed even creepier, honestly offering her candy?

"_I bet it's drugged."_ She thought. "How about we start with simple introductions instead of offering each other suspicious looking candy..."

The man's eyes twinkled again, "I'm Albus Dumbledore, who're you."

Naruto nodded still glancing at the man suspiciously, "I'm Naruto Uzumaki, the next Hokage, don't forget it! I like ramen, training, and my friends!"

"So tell me Naruto, how did you manage to apparate into our humble school?"

"Um, I poked a dead body and it transported me here." Naruto responded, not sure what 'apparate' meant, but assuming he meant how she arrived.

"Dead body?" Dumbledore inquired, leaning forward slightly.

"Yes, I was sent to investigate claims of a tugging feeling near the area, so I poked the dead body and was transported here." Naruto glared, how could Dumbledore not get that?

"Ah, I see, now have you had any experience with magic?"

"Magic? God, is that what ancient people call it, it sounds like pedophilic though. 'Hey kid, want to watch me perform some _magic_?' Then again, I've heard weirder, I remember meeting this guy on this mission once that called it his pixie dust, but I yeah, I guess I've had lots of experience with chak- I mean _magic_." Naruto rambled, swaying slightly from side to side.

"Could you demonstrate?" Dumbledore asked politely.

Naruto grinned and put her hands up into a very familiar seal. Then there was a loud poof. Sultry music filled the room (really, okay, maybe it was just in Dumbledore's mind) and instead of Naruto there stood an older **naked** full-bodied woman with silky blonde locks and bright blue eyes. Did I mention she was _**naked**_? Dumbledore coughed and Naruto expelled the jutsu just in time to see Dumbledore dab at his nose with a periwinkle blue handkerchief.

She grinned, "Did you like that?"

"It appears to be very…effective." Dumbledore trailed off, still dabbing away at his hooked nose with an expression similar to the one the Third Hokage had when he first witnessed said jutsu.

"I call it my pervert-finder technique!" Naruto stated proudly, "With it I can point out all perverts yush!" Naruto raised a fist and struck a 'Lee' (glittering teeth and all, Lee taught her well).

Dumbledore, rather embarrassed decided to move on, "Alright well, how old are you?" He would have to keep a close eye on her through the teachers, but otherwise she seemed pretty trustworthy, and skilled at spells, very skilled.

"I'm fifteen!" Naruto said.

"So a fifth year," Dumbledore murmured, "but, might as well put you in fourth, Hermione Granger can help you get used to our customs and such, since your name is so foreign, you might need help. Since you already have a wand, I'll need to provide you with the rest of your supplies." Dumbledore stroke his beard, pondering for a moment.

"Wand?" Naruto questioned, "Are you talking about this stick?" She brandished it boldly once more.

_**Boom.**_

Dumbledore winced as his priceless book collection combusted. "Yes." He waved his own wand and put out the fire.

Naruto stared at the stick in wonder. "So…I should keep it?"

Dumbledore felt a headache coming maybe the girl was Obliviated, for she obviously had no knowledge about some things, "Yes, you should keep it, and keep it safe. It is priceless to a witch like you."

Naruto shrugged and stuffed the sti- I mean wand into her pocket containing her kunai…of course that might not be the best place to keep a delicate piece of wood but ignorance is bliss…right? Dumbledore waved his own wand once more summoning a proper uniform, books, cauldrons, and of course, a fourth year schedule. He frowned and decided to give the girl Divination and Care of Magical Creatures as her electives, since they were what most of the students had chosen.

Seemingly content with his work he popped a lemon drop into his mouth and concluded their conversation with, "I assume you must be hungry, I'll have this delivered to your dorm, and I'll escort you back into the Great Hall so you may eat. When the students are dismissed to their common rooms, or dorms, follow someone who you were sitting by, remember the way to your dorm and remember the password." Then Dumbledore stood up in a flash of purple robes and strode towards the door. He opened it with ease and gestured for Naruto to follow.

Naruto skipped behind Dumbledore happy at the prospect of eating. Dumbledore pointed to a table with a banner of a lion hanging above it, "Sit there." He instructed.

"Sit there." Naruto mocked, Jesus that old man was bossy, but nevertheless, she walked over to the table and sat by a rather normal looking group.

* * *

"So, what do you think McGonagall's going to do to the poor girl?" Fred asked excitedly.

"I dunno I fink dat maype McDonnagol wilsh keel her." Ron said rather eloquently for someone with a mouth full of chicken. Hermione winced as bits of chicken flew at her and stuck to her face. She wiped them off daintily with a napkin.

"Honestly Ronald, show some manners."

Ron had the decency to look sheepish. He extended a greasy hand toward his friend, "Showwy 'Mione." Hermione scoffed and wiped off her face once more.

They saw McGonagall enter, and Dumbledore leave. McGonagall dusted off the poor hat and finally placed it on Mervin's head. "**HUFFLEPUFF!**" Mervin, relieved ran towards the table. And the sorting resumed. Finally after what seemed like forever, the sorting was over and Dumbledore entered the Hall, followed by the girl, who seemed absolutely fine, much to everyone's surprise. The girl skipped toward them and planted herself right by Hermione.

The girl peered at them all, and they finally got a good look at the girl herself. She was pretty tall for a first-year; she had choppy short golden-blonde hair that reached down to her chin, bright blue cerulean eyes, and marks on her cheeks that look like whiskers. She was fairly attractive, but could probably be mistaken for a boy, because she wore a baggy orange and black jumpsuit that had many pockets.

"I'm Naruto Uzumaki, if you didn't hear me up there a little while ago." The girl said, smiling. And just like that, the tension was gone.

"I'm Fred."

"No! I'm Fred."

"Bloody hell? I'm Fred!" Naruto rolled her eyes, before reaching over the table and bopping the two on the head, hard. The twins simultaneously rubbed their abused heads.

"I'll just call you Priscilla and you Lucy." Naruto smartly concluded.

Hermione smiled at the girl, "I'm Hermione, and the two boys across from us are Ron and Harry. Ron's the one stuffing his face like a pig-" Ron sent Hermione a hurt look, "and Harry's the one with a stupid expression on his face."

"Ron, are you related to Lucy and Priscilla?"

Ron nodded and spoke (much to Hermione's dismay), "Yush I ish relashted do dem." Naruto simply nodded at Harry, who was staring at the table with an eagle banner above it. "So how old are you guys?"

Hermione answered, "Fred and George are both 16, making them sixth years, Ron, Harry, and I are all 14, which means we're fourth years."

"Cool! I'm 15!"

_**Pffft.**_

Naruto winced as all the food in her new-found friends' mouths sprayed all over the table.

"You're fifteen?" Hermione asked in astonishment.

"Yeah, why? How old did you think I was?"

"Eleven."

Naruto wailed, "Eleven? I'm not that short!" Dramatic tears spilled out of her eyes.

Hermione patted her back awkwardly before changing the subject, "So are you a fifth year?" Oddly enough the tears were gone, with no evidence that she had been crying at all.

"Nah, Dumbledork told me that I'm going to start in fourth year so that someone named Miss Granger can help me." Naruto said in her best 'matter-of-fact' voice.

"Oh, that's me!" Hermione said, beaming at the fact that Dumbledore wanted her to help the new student, she was a shoo-in for Prefect AND Head Girl.

"So, what do you think of Dumbledore?" Ron asked.

Naruto thought for a moment. "He's kind of creepy, he's a pervert, he's very old, and his twinkly eyes are annoying." She concluded with a nod.

_Silence._

Naruto fidgeted, _"Damn, I probably should've lied and said something like 'Oh, he's so dashingly handsome and wise! What would anyone do without him!'"_

"Yes you should've," Hermione dead-panned, "In Dumbledore we trust."

"Hell, I've got to stop thinking out loud." Naruto exclaimed massaging her temple. The awkward silence continued until Dumbledore stood up and began his yearly announcement, why it was so late no one knew, although Slytherins would later try to say that it's because he's senile.

…Something that Naruto wouldn't too strongly protest, anyway moving on to Dumbledore's announcement, "Hello and welcome back to Hogwarts returning students and welcome to Hogwarts new first-years. As always the Forbidden Forest is strictly off-limits to all students. I would also like to introduce Professor Moody, our new Defense against the Dark Arts teacher." There was light applause as a dude with a weird eyeball that went around in circles stood up. Naruto half-expected him to fall on the table, drool, and mutter out incoherent words.

Dumbledore carried on, "I would also like to introduce a new student named Naruto Uzumaki. She will be joining the fourth years this year, as she is getting a slightly late start. Welcome her with open arms."

Naruto felt this strange urge to stand up, and she glared at Dumbledore, _"How in the fuck is he doing that?"_

"Quidditch is cancelled for this year," this was followed by many groans, "I do however, have some exciting news; this year we will continue the Triwizard Tournament, a tournament in which the three great wizarding schools, Durmstrang, Beauxbatons, and of course Hogwarts participate in three events. This tournament was held over 700 years ago and the schools took turns holding it, many people died from this tournament. With that said, only people of age 17 or older may submit their name into the Goblet of Fire for consideration. Everyone wanting to submit their name for consideration must write their name and school clearly on a slip of paper and drop it into the goblet. You will have 24 hours to submit your name, the day after the goblet will select people to represent their school in the tournament. Durmstrang and Beauxbatons will arrive on the 30th of October. The Goblet will then be placed out then, I will draw an Age Line so that no one under the age of 17 may cross. The names will be drawn out on the 31st. This will be an opportunity for you to make new friends from different nationalities."

Everyone applauded and all of the seventh years looked at each other happily, almost all planning to enter their name into the cup, obviously.

Fred (Priscilla) and George (Lucy) whined, "No fair! Our 17th birthdays are like only a few months afterwards!"

Naruto shrugged, "Sucks for you. Maybe you should find a way to 'magically' age."

Hermione tutted in a disapproving manner, "Naruto! Don't give them any ideas!"

"Why?" Naruto whined.

"You are now officially my charge, so do as I say and don't question it!" Hermione declared, "Tomorrow you'll be wearing a proper uniform."

Naruto pouted, "Never, I like orange." She clutched her orange jacket.

"Nope! I'm not hearing any of it! Orange is such an ugly color too."

Naruto gasped, "Orange is an ugly color?" Hermione nodded. There was a sudden glint in Naruto's eyes, but it disappeared before anyone noticed. Finally, Naruto took a look at the feast ladled out before them. She frowned when she did not see any ramen. Pouting she reached into her back pocket and pulled out a scroll. Unfurling it she laid it on the table, unaware of everyone around watching her every move. Making a few simple hand signals she pressed her index finger onto the middle of the seal.

_**Poof.**_

A bowl of the delicious noodles had appeared in place of the seal. Naruto picked up the chopsticks and lifted up the bowl. Ignoring the inquisitive looks that adorned all of her companions' faces she placed the chopsticks in the bowl.

And then the noodles and broth were both gone. Priscilla blinked. Lucy gasped. Ron was envious. Harry rubbed his eyes in disbelief. Hermione was horrified.

"How did-"

"That happen-"

"it was there-"

"and then it wasn't."

Naruto snorted at the way the twins switched on and off, "_Cute, I wonder if they do birthday parties_." Naruto cocked her head to the side for a moment before answering, "I don't have a gag reflex."

_Silence…again._

"Jesus, what did I say?" Naruto demanded, looking at all of the boys…whose faces were oddly red and flustered and- "PERVERTS! EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!" Naruto exclaimed angrily, all of the boys immediately paled when a dark cloud of anger surrounded Naruto. She cracked her knuckles ominously. "Do you know what I do to perverts?"

"No." Ron managed to squeak out. She took a butter knife from the table and started twirling it around.

"I wonder how long it would take to sever off a limb using this." She wondered out loud innocently.

Naruto blinked, and the boys were gone. Their half-filled plates left behind.

She turned to Hermione who was pale as well, "You don't really do that…do you?"

Naruto grinned, "Do what? I never said anything…_specific_."

* * *

**Wah, I certainly hoped that this wasn't too rushed for you guys.**

**It probably was, I need to work on that. Dx**

**I'll make sure that everything goes slower for you, alright?**

**Reviews are mucho love.**

**So REVIEW PLEASE. I'll love you forever, it also fuels my creativity. **

**Not saying that you HAVE to…just saying that you should. ;D**

**NEW AN:/ DONE AND DONE.  
Chapter three now! :D **

**-Nacho **


	3. Chapter 3

**Pranksterz**

**By: Pretty Nacho**

_I do not own Harry Potter_

**AN/**_Thanks for all of the fabulous reviews! I'm really happy with the response that this has received. I will reply to your reviews at the end of the chapter._

**NEW AN:/ 12.17.10 Yep. I should stop making these, but yeah. Again, just spaced, nothing special. **

* * *

The rest of the night passed by fairly slowly indeed. Naruto and Hermione proceeded to stuff themselves to the brim with various foods. That is; until someone mentioned something about how the house elves had out-done themselves.

Hermione had gasped as if she were about to have a heart-attack, and screeched in a very Sakura-like manner, "There are house elves in _HOGWARTS_?" She then pushed her food away and looked as if she was about to be sick. Naruto, of course, didn't really get the big idea (she rarely does), and took Hermione's plate and polished the food off for her. To which Hermione had gagged and had commented on how bad her Ron-like eating habits were.

Then Hermione led her around the magical stairs, Naruto had almost had a heart attack as her foot got stuck on one particular stair, and to a portrait of a very…plump woman. Hermione told her that whenever Naruto wanted to enter all she had to do was say the password, which was 'balderdash'. A rather funny password, Naruto herself would've used something useful and easy to remember like ramen…mm, ramen, she almost drooled at the thought of the food.

Of course, the girl's dorms were all _occupied_ apparently and it was either sleep in the boy's dorms or become acquainted with the couch. Naruto easily chose the couch; she could see the same lecherous leer in the boys that Jiraiya had used all the time when trying to get lucky with a woman half his age. Her school stuff was in a trunk that she stored under the couch. Surprisingly, the couches were very comfy, and Naruto soon fell asleep to amazing orange-ramen filled dreams.

* * *

Fred and George always wake up early. Always. It's an opportune moment to plan out pranks, because people were asleep. They had woken up very early that particular morning to get in some work on developing more joke-candy like the Nosebleed Nougats they were working on, also they needed to brew up more batches of the Ton-Tongue Toffees. They glided down the stairs with grace (unless you counted George farting, which he swears he didn't do) to find Naruto still asleep on the couch.

Now, many girls look very beautiful and peaceful while asleep. Naruto was **not** and is still **not** one of those girls. Her blanket was in a pitiful lump on the floor, her legs were strewn in an awkward position, her hair looked was a mess and she was drooling. Oh, she was also snoring loudly. The twins glanced at each other and stifled their giggles as best as they could. They reached down ever so slowly to innocently knock her off of the couch.

"_WITH THE REFLEXES OF A PANTHER, NARUTO UZUMAKI THE GREAT IS ALWAYS VIGILANT AND AWARE OF HER SURROUNDINGS, HI-YAH_!" She threw the twins onto the table. The twins cowered in horror… that is until they saw that Naruto's eyes were still fully closed. With a loud snore Naruto then collapsed back onto the couch. The twins stared at her oddly before dashing out of the common room and onto the third floor to the Room of Requirement.

Two hours later Naruto was rudely woken up by someone pouring cold water over her head. She sputtered angrily and glared at a very smug looking Hermione and a sheepish Ron holding the bucket.

"Sorry, she threatened me!" Ron said, holding his hands up in surrender.

Hermione sniffed, "Yes, I did, because if you don't get ready right now you'll be late for Potions!" Naruto groaned, she now remembered why she was so overjoyed to finally graduate from the Academy back in Konoha, now she had to get up early, _everyday_.

Slowly getting up, she followed Hermione to where the girls' showers were apparently supposed to be. "Take a shower quickly and dress in this!" Hermione waved about an outfit (that looked kind of blurry to Naruto because she was flailing it around everywhere), hung said outfit on the doorknob and walked out. "And remember to hurry!"

Naruto mumbled something along the lines of, "I don't want to." But Hermione had already slammed the door.

Naruto tugged off her beloved orange outfit and emptied the pockets of their contents. Her scroll containing a lifetime's supply of ramen, fourteen kunai and her stick (which had miraculously survived through Naruto's night of tumbling and mumbling), ten shuriken, a few random senbon, some hair-ties, a fan, some poker cards, two large knives inherited from Asuma, a small journal, a note from Sakura (telling Naruto how she would torture her if Naruto had actually stolen her lucky yellow socks…), Sakura's lucky yellow socks, a small pocketbook titled ten thousand ways to kill a pervert (written by baa-chan herself!), a small slip of paper with Kiba's number on it, two more shuriken, some trash, a pair of chopsticks, a picture of her with Ino and Hinata, a small sword, a few fan letters, a page from the newest Icha-Icha (compliments of Kakashi's precious book), and a small box containing something that smelled rather funky. Yes, Naruto had extremely enormous pockets, she then stepped into the shower and turned the water on.

Naruto soon began to enjoy the shower a lot, the water was the perfect temperature without having to wait five minutes for it to warm up, she hummed while she lathered up soap and shampoo, and danced while rinsing. She was disappointed when it was over. She grabbed a fluffy towel and dried herself off. Naruto then stared at the outfit that Hermione had laid out for her. She grimaced at the short skirt and seemingly tight button-up shirt. It was just calling for perverts to maul her. She sniffed at the fact that it also only had two small pockets on the skirt and one on the breast of the shirt. She glanced at the small hoard of things piled up on the granite counter. Naruto huffed; she would just have to make due with what she was provided with.

With her hair pulled back into one short ponytail she stepped out with the rest of her things in her hand and her stick, two kunai, three senbon, her scroll of ramen (which stuck out rather obviously) and the lucky pair of socks in her pockets.

Hermione stared at the things in her arms, "Throw them in your trunk for now, we only have five minutes, we're going to have to skip breakfast."

Naruto dropped the items in her (surprisingly pretty spacious) trunk and glared at Hermione, "Like hell we're going to skip breakfast!" Naruto huffed at her.

Hermione glared right back, "We must, you can't be late on your very, very first day Naruto! Professor Snape is a very harsh man."

Naruto then smirked, a very confident smirk, one so confident that Hermione couldn't say no, "I'll deal with it, let's just go eat breakfast."

Hermione glanced away and huffed, "Fine! But remember to take your wand and your potion-making kit that Dumbledore has provided for you! It should be in your trunk as well!"

So they stumbled into Potions, fifteen minutes late (because Naruto _had_ to fight with that poor third-year over the last cinnamon bun).

Snape glared angrily and said in a most displeased and sarcastic voice, "Glad you could finally join us Granger, do you have a valid reason, or have you finally decided that you're too good to come to class on time?" Snape sneered. Hermione stuttered, she never got in trouble, and wasn't used to this, even Snape couldn't find a good reason to be mad at her most of the time.

"I'm so, so, so, so dreadfully sorry, oh dear Professor, it was my entire fault, I woke up late and was too slow getting ready, so if you're going to punish anyone punish me!" Naruto dramatically declared, throwing herself at the Professor's feet. She clasped her hands together in a manner most convincing, and then everyone in the room gasped in amazement as her eyes widened ten times, and her already large irises got even bigger. Her bottom lip jutted out and she began to stare.

Snape had been about to deduct one thousand points from Gryffindor, but those eyes! He glared at them, his mouth set in a sneer, hoping that the kid would look away, but she didn't. She just stared. His lip twitched and Naruto did all she could to stop herself from smirking. A twitch was the first sign that it was working.

_"HAH! Not even a really, really, pissed off hardcore ANBU can resist this look! I didn't spend five years of my life perfecting it for nothing."_

Snape finally looked away, "Just go to your seats!" He hissed out, before turning around and stamping back to the chalk board which was filled with elegant handwriting on how to brew a something-something potion. Grinning, Naruto took the empty seat besides Hermione, who was shocked still, like everyone else in the room; Naruto however, just whistled and began to follow the directions on the board.

Happily, Potions was very easy for Naruto. Naruto is a pretty dense person compared to others, but she wasn't completely stupid. She wouldn't have defeated Pein if she was. The step-by-step directions on the board made her completely giddy, for it was easy to follow everything through. She didn't even have to copy because the answers were completely on the board!

Her something-or-other potion had turned out perfect; it was a nice thick emerald green and bubbled evenly. She had even gotten an approval sneer from Snape! Of course everyone had ooh-ed and aah-ed and asked her how she had done it. She felt like smacking them across the head, and ended up yelling at an innocent girl to read the freaking board because everything she needed to know was right there.

Afterwards, Hermione had commended her for her wonderful performance in Potions while Ron and Harry seemed to only repeat the word wicked while smacking her on the back, something she did not appreciate and made a mental note in her head to pay them back later.

She then found out that she had Divination with Ron and Harry while Hermione had A-rit-man-nancy or something along the lines of that nonsense. She followed the two boys towards a ladder which they climbed up. As soon as they entered Naruto could tell that she would hate this class. The smell of incense immediately suffocated her, and the interior decorating! It was so horrid! The Professor, whom-ever she was, was either a) color blind b) one of those really eccentric hippy-type people or c) a major nerd/geek.

To Naruto's horror, Professor Trelawny was d) all of the above. Really, she spoke in a croaky voice, trying to make it sound interesting. Her clothes were even more badly coordinated than Naruto's orange suit. And her glasses made her eyes seem really large, and she was puny, she seemed like a quiet Chihuahua to Naruto. However, Naruto had to commend her on death predictions; she seemed to have those down pat.

Naruto grinned when Trelawny once again clasped Harry into an embrace dramatically, before spastically dancing about and spouting something about death by water and death by winter. It sounded like a badly composed poem, to be completely honest. Then the only interesting thing that would happen that day came.

Trelawny danced about the room with a suspicious green herb. She stopped at her desk and took in a deep breath. "I, over the summer went to see a good friend of mine, and he introduced me to this!" She waved toward the bowl. "It is magical and said to induce visions, especially in young ones, so as a special treat, I am going to pass this around, and after you wake up, I would like for you to tell us what you saw."

She took out a piece of paper and rolled the herb in it, then with a snap of her fingers she lighted it, a thick, ugly smelling, rainbow- colored smoke poured from it. "Take in a deep breath like so," She brought the roll to her mouth and inhaled deeply, "Then pass it to the person next to you, the vision should happen a minute later." She quickly handed the roll to a girl named Lavender Brown, who eagerly inhaled it and coughed violently before handing it to Pavarti, the girl next to her.

It continued, until it reached Ron, Harry, and Naruto who were sitting conveniently in the back. Ron inhaled and passed it to Naruto before going into a coughing fit like everyone else. The room now smelled like the smoking herb. Closing her eyes, Naruto took the rolled herb to her lips and drew in a long breath.

Her lungs filled with warm smoke, she dropped the roll and clutched her throat. She coughed even more violently than everyone in the room.

After a while of coughing, everything went dark.

And then her world exploded in bright psychedelic colors.

* * *

_Yay for magic weed anyone? Anyone? _

_Word Count; about 2100_

**Review Response!**

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**-Nacho the Amazing.**

**NEW AN:/ Whoot, I might get done today! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Pranksterz**

**By: Pretty Nacho**

**I don't own Harry Potter or Naruto**

**AN: Replies to reviews at the bottom, as always.**

**Edited: March 17 2011  
Just spaced stuff. **

**

* * *

**

Naruto's world swam, she blinked, but it did nothing to help. Everything was clear, in a distorted way. She saw a door at the end of the hall, and heard voices. Well she kind of faded in between hearing them and not hearing them. In fact the whole thing sounded a bit like.

_"Wormtail nyah, nyah, nyah, servant, nyah, nyah, nyah, Potter, nyah, nyah, nyah, Hogwarts, nyah, nyah, nyah, tournament, nyah, nyah, nyah, new comer, nyah, nyah, nyah, interested." _

_"Lord, blah, blah, blah, yes, blah, blah, blah, certainly, blah, blah, blah, blah, it will be done, blah, blah, blah."_

_"You better, nyah, nyah, nyah, or, nyah, nyah, nyah, punishment, nyah, nyah, nyah."_Suddenly she felt shooting, agonizing pain that originated from her seal to spread through her stomach. It steadily grew bigger and bigger.

Naruto was then shaken awake by a very giddy Trelawney. "Miss Uzumaki, finally you awaken!" She smiled, the smell of the herb was all over Trelawney's clothes, it was obvious that she used the herb quite often to try to induce visions herself. "So tell us what you saw!"

Naruto shook her head slowly, "Me? I didn't see anything…what are you talking about!"

Trelawney peered at Naruto through her oversized spectacles, "Really? Because you were shaking and clenching your stomach, I'm pretty sure you had a vision."

Naruto shook her head more vigorously, "NU-UH, I…um…I had a bad burrito this morning, yeah…" It was then that the bell chimed, signaling the end of the class. Naruto gladly jumped up and dashed out the door with Ron and Harry.

They quickly climbed down the ladder and began to walk down the hall to Charms. Naruto just walked besides them as they talked about something called Quidditch.

It was halfway down the hall that Naruto inquired quite seriously, "Anyone else have a serious case of the munchies?"

Ron nodded and patted his stomach, "Definitely!"

Hermione joined them then and snorted, "Honestly Ron, you're always hungry."

Harry grinned, "While that's true, I am hungry as well, guess that visions really do make you hungry, although I don't know how."

Hermione rolled her eyes, "Well then you three will just have to wait until lunch, luckily Arithmancy doesn't make me hungry. Now let's hurry up and get to Charms, I hear we'll be doing tons of interesting stuff this year, nothing boring like the years past."

"Every year you say that Hermione, and it always turns out the same!" Ron retorted.

Hermione's eyes sparkled with the intensity of a thousand suns. "But this time, I swear it's going to be different!" Naruto honestly thought she was going to burst into sing and dance.

"_Charms is fu-un! Charms is co-ol! Charms is the greatest thing since sliced bread and ramen!"_

They entered the room and took seats directly in the middle ("So we don't seem too eager, but not like we're slackers either," Hermione had explained). They waited anxiously for three more minutes before the bell rung again signaling the beginning of "Charms". Naruto bounced in her seat happily as she awaited the professor. Finally he entered, flicking his wand lazily in a merry gesture, sending out a few red sparks. The students clapped politely and waited patiently for Flitwick to talk.

Finally he spoke, "This year, my pupils we will be learning about Summoning and Banishing, as well as a few other small but useful charms." Some students squealed in excitement while others rolled their eyes. Naruto personally was with the rolling eyes group. Honestly, summoning isn't that hard if you practice a lot. The only challenging thing about it was the test you have to pass in order to validate the agreement between the shinobi and the chosen animal.

However, then a wave of happiness rushed over her. This was something she could show off on. So while Flitwick was explaining the theory of summoning and the 'motion' Naruto bit her thumb and began to make various seals.

She pressed her thumb onto the desk and said in a very loud and disrupting voice, "Kuchiyose no _Jutsu!" _Everyone turned their heads towards her in surprise at her outburst. There was a puff of smoke and when it cleared there was a small brightly colored toad about the size of Naruto's hand wearing a green vest with the sign of the toads printed on the back.

Naruto grinned and exclaimed, "GAMARYU!"

The little toad turned and upon seeing Naruto attached itself to her face. "NARUTOOO! YOU HAVEN'T SUMMONED ME IN SO LONG, PAPA AND GRAMPS GOT REAL WORRIED!"

There was precisely three seconds of silence before the majority of girls in the class screamed and Flitwick pulled out his wand and pointed it promptly at the toad, his face pale.

Naruto looked at everyone in confusion, "What?" She inquired innocently after prying Gamaryu off of her face.

"Naruto, that, that thing attacked you!" Hermione gasped, collecting herself and whipping out her wand as well. Naruto stared at Gamaryu who had taken it upon himself to bury himself into her arms.

"You mean Gamaryu?" She asked in disbelief, Hermione nodded and backed off a bit more, her wand hand still trembling. Naruto's eye twitched, "STUPID, GAMARYU IS ONE OF MY SUMMONS, UH-DUR! I thought you knew something about summoning, you too Professor." Naruto huffed and patted the scared and small toad while reassuring him that he was okay.

Flitwick's eyes widened comically, before he dashed out of the room and out into the hall, obviously to speak to Dumbledore about this new discovery. Meanwhile Naruto and Gamaryu struck up a conversation like nothing had happened.

"So why haven't you summoned us lately?" Gamaryu asked.

Naruto snorted, "It's only been what…four days at the most, honestly."

Gamaryu sniffed, "Well, you promised me you'd summon me every day! I thought you had _died_!"

Naruto rolled her eyes, "I'm fine aren't I? No kunai shoved through my heart or something."

"I was worried!" Gamaryu then attached himself once more to her face, hugging it for all it was worth.

After getting over the initial shock (cough) the students realized that the fact that Naruto could summon a talking animal was _badass_. So they crowded around her and Gamaryu and began to assault her with questions.

"How did you do that?"

"Can you teach us?"

"How can he talk?"

Naruto held up one hand as to silence them, obviously enjoying very much the attention they were showering her with, so taking a deep breath she began to explain.

"You see to be able to summon you must sign a contract with an animal in blood. Once you do, you need to erm, perform the _spell_, I just did. To make the contract permanent, you must be able to summon the boss, who will then put you through a test. The test can be anything from a test of character to a test of just brute strength. If you pass the test you have the animals' loyalty. Not all of the animals can talk, only those that are descendants of the Boss Line can speak. Other animals will not have the ability to speak. Gamaryu is the son of Gamakichi who is the son of Gamabunta who is the current boss. The only animal stronger than the boss is the high lord or sage. Those two specific animals are at the top of the chain and you can only summon them if you have their permission and are current holder of the scroll. Oh yeah, the size of the animal you summon depends on how well and how much chak-I mean magic you are able to concentrate into the spell…" Naruto pondered for a moment, wondering if she had forgotten anything, everyone in the room seemed to hold their breath in anticipation. "I think that's it…"

Hermione huffed; obviously put off that Naruto knew more about one subject than her (she was very competitive). "Well then, where are these contract scrolls you speak of?" She said angrily. She hadn't even heard about this type of summoning at all!

Naruto shrugged, "I don't know, I left the Toad Contract back at home…I think Sasuke took possession of the Snake Scroll. Tsunade-baachan still has the Slug Scroll…There are plenty of other animal scrolls, there are even some contracts yet to be made, maybe I'll look into that." Naruto said, nodding her head.

The students aww-ed in disappointment at hearing that she did not have any contracts on her.

* * *

It was in the dead of night when Tsunade summoned Gai and his apprentice Rock Lee to her office. Even if it had only been one day since Naruto had left, she was still worried. The mission had only been classed at a 'C' and normally Naruto was able to complete these missions in a heartbeat. The green-spandex clad ninjas arrived in their normal fashion (sunset background and all). Then she began to speak in a hushed tone, "Listen up you two, I sent Naruto out on a mission yesterday, but she has yet to return. I know it might just be me worrying, but I'm concerned, especially since it was such an easy mission." Before she could continue she was interrupted by Lee.

"NO, NARUTO-CHAN'S YOUTH IS IN TROUBLE? WE MUST SAVE HER BURNING PASSION!111!1!" He exclaimed, holding a fist up with fire burning in his eyes.

"LEE, MY STUDENT, IT TOUCHES ME TO SEE YOU SO EAGER TO SAVE A COMRADE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP BOTH OF YOU!" Tsunade yelled, slamming a fist on her desk (thus splitting it in half, it was such a nice desk too…), "Please listen!"

"I am not going to send you out right away, however if she doesn't appear back within a week, I will summon you back here. Just warning you to make sure you have lots of things packed in case something did go wrong." Tsunade's lip trembled at the thought of a dead little sister.

Gai was suddenly serious, "Don't worry Tsunade-sama, if it comes to that, you can trust that me and Lee will get the job done and will bring Naruto-san home." He bowed lowly before exiting the office with Lee following close behind. Tsunade put her head down on her desk and cursed the fact that Pein had destroyed Konoha's supply of sake.

* * *

"You've been summoned to Dumbledore's office…" A third year addressed Naruto.

Naruto rolled her eyes, "Of course, lead the way." The two set off towards Dumbledore's office. It was a rather uneventful walk except for when Naruto blasted a hole through the stairs when her foot got caught on one of the trick stairs.

They stopped in front of a stone gargoyle. "Chocolate ant," The boy said in a clear voice. The gargoyle hopped to one side and revealed a stair case. Naruto waved goodbye to the boy before jogging up the steps to the large double doors that she had seen yesterday. She opened the door to see Dumbledore there with a pale Flitwick by his side.

"Naruto, my dear, come here." Dumbledore said, gesturing to the pile of colorful beanbags.

Naruto sat on a beanbag and glared at Flitwick, "Tattle-teller!" She accused. Flitwick flinched visibly.

"Now, now," Dumbledore said, "No need to insult."

Naruto turned her head to the side and scoffed.

"Come now, all problems can be solved through words, correct?" Naruto and Flitwick both nodded. "Now then Flitwick, tell Naruto what's bugging you."

Flitwick sniffed. "Well, she interrupted my lecture. And that hurt my feelings."

Naruto gasped almost in tears, "I didn't realize Professor, I'm sorry. I thought that you were okay with it."

Dumbledore turned to Flitwick, "Do you accept her apology?"

Flitwick smiled shakily, "Yes…"

"Good and Naruto promise not to do it again?"

Naruto nodded, "Pinky swear it!"

"Okay, and Flitwick, remember what you're supposed to use when something like this happens?" Dumbledore peered from behind his spectacles at him.

Flitwick looked embarrassed, "The DeBug System."

"Correct, now both of you run along and stay out of trouble."

"Yes Teacher!" Naruto and the Professor chimed at the same time before they both skipped out of the classroom merrily.

As soon as they were outside Naruto turned to Flitwick, "Hey, want to play on the see-saw at lunchtime together?"

"Sure!"

"Cool!" The two friends high-fived before they went their separate ways.

* * *

**All of you guys know what the Debug System is, right? I hope you do. xD This is how my kindergarten teacher would solve our 'problems'. Ah, kindergarten, I miss it. **

MidnightFaerie57- Thanks a bunch! Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Even though it was a bit overdue, I've been busy, had to go back to school and stuff.

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Here's a little treat for you guys since it took me so long to update. A little excerpt from what is going to be the next chapter.

"_FUCK IT ALL TO HELL, FRED, GEORGE!" Hermione yelled as she stormed down the stairs. The two twins looked up from what they were doing and almost burst out laughing._

_"Hermione we love your new look-,"  
"-it's very fashionable-,"  
"-we wish we had your sense of color coordination." _

_Hermione glared at them, "Cut the shit, I know it was you who did this, don't even try to deny it. Trust me; I'm getting revenge for this…after I reverse this, you two are going down. Down, down, down."_

_"Whoa, Hermione! Hold up, it wasn't us-,"  
"-while we'd like to take the credit-,"  
"-it wasn't the work of our genius that did this-,"  
"-we swear it wasn't us."_

_Hermione glared at them, "I've known you two too long for you to pull that shit on me! Just watch your backs." She stormed back up the stairs. The two twins looked a bit worried; they had never seen Hermione that pissed before. And of course, no one noticed the master of disguise Uzumaki- the- Great watching the whole thing. However, Naruto felt quite odd. It just wasn't the same; back in Konoha everyone knew that any type of prank was the work of the hyper-active jinchuuriki. Pranking was__**her**__thing. Lucy and Priscilla were going down._

**Whoo, an extra long one too. XD REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW. Click the review button. Signed or anonymous, I don't care. :3**

**Take care,**

**Pretty Nacho**


	5. Chapter 5

**Pranksterz**

**By: Pretty Nacho**

**EDITED VERSION  
Edited: March 17 2011**

_I do not own Harry Potter or Naruto._

* * *

It was time to eat dinner! Even though three hours ago Naruto had the hugest lunch imaginable, she was once again hungry. However, she did have a plan to carry out, so she ate quickly, with gusto that surpassed even Chouji and then fled, apparently to the 'bathroom', leaving Ron to sob over his lost title of 'Hogwart's Most Piggy Eater'.

Naruto cackled insanely as she finished her trap complete with her experimental 'genjutsu bomb'.

She smiled at her work. "I am so happy!" She said, crying dramatic tears of pride. "I am such a genius, it almost hurts!" She then dashed downstairs and concealed herself easily enough (she was so much better at it than Konohamaru). After about ten minutes, everyone began to pour in. The twins came down the stairs that led up to the boy's sleeping beds. They waved at everyone cheerily and sat down at the couch that Naruto had slept in.

"Hey, 'Mione, can you help me with this?" Some unfamiliar voice asked. Hermione walked over to the person and nodded, "Yeah sure, let me just run upstairs to grab my materials for that subject." Naruto almost squealed in excitement, but she held it back. After just ten seconds there was a loud poof from upstairs and after a short pause, a very loud shriek.

* * *

Hermione shrieked as she glanced upon her image in the mirror. Her mouth hung open. She looked like…like…like a badly dressed go-go girl!

"No!" She squealed. She had high platform boots, a short mini skirt, a gauzy top with the most garish floral print…and _fringe_, a heavy necklace with a peace medallion, large glasses, and her hair had somehow transformed into a large afro.

But that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was, her hair was now a red that was even brighter than the Weasley's and all of her clothes were in interchangeable shades of orange. From pastel to bright neon, you name it, it was on her outfit somewhere. She growled she knew of only two people bold enough to attempt something like this.

"FUCK IT ALL TO HELL, **FRED**, **GEORGE**!" Hermione yelled as she stormed down the stairs, rather wobbly for she was not accustomed to storming angrily in platform shoes.

The two twins looked up from what they were doing and almost burst out laughing. "Hermione we love your new look-,"  
"-it's very fashionable-,"  
"-we wish we had your sense of color coordination and _fashion_."

Hermione glared at them, "Cut the shit, I know it was you who did this, don't even try to deny it. Trust me; I'm getting revenge for this…after I reverse it, you two are going down. Down, down, down."

"Whoa, Hermione! Hold up, it wasn't us-,"  
"-while we'd like to take the credit-,"  
"-it wasn't the work of our genius that did this-,"  
"-I mean, that is art, we aren't capable of something like that yet."

Hermione glared at them, "I've known you two too long for you to pull that shit on me! Just watch your backs." She stormed back up the stairs. The two twins looked a bit worried; they had never seen Hermione that pissed before.

And of course, no one noticed the master of disguise Uzumaki-the-Great watching the whole thing. However, Naruto felt quite odd. It just wasn't the same; back in Konoha everyone knew that any type of prank was the work of the hyper-active jinchuuriki. Pranking was _**her**_ thing. Lucy and Priscilla were going down. She gritted her teeth as she stepped out from her hiding spot. She walked towards Priscilla and Lucy, who were still staring at the stairs that Hermione had stormed back up. She patted them lightly on the back; they swiveled around to look at her.

"Nice prank, you two!" Naruto said in fake brightness. The twins grinned at her and were about to speak before Naruto lifted them both off the ground, she glared at them before speaking, "Listen, here, NO ONE is supposed to take credit for Naruto Uzumaki's pranks! You two are going down." She snarled at them before turning around and storming up the stairs. The twins gaped in her wake.

A few minutes later she came back down and glared at them, "I forgot I sleep down here. Now get out of my sight!" The twins scurried up the stairs to their own beds and Naruto flopped down onto the couch. She closed her eyes and almost immediately went to sleep (pranking takes a lot out of a person, you know?). However, her dreams were not the most pleasant of dreams.

_Naruto was running down the empty streets of Konoha. She was running from something, but she couldn't exactly tell what it was. All she knew was that she needed to run. She passed countless of shops and homes but no one appeared to be there. It was right behind her so she picked up the pace. _

_Finally she made it into the forest, she picked up pace, she could feel it catching up. She jumped tree to tree swiftly, but then she tripped. The thing grabbed a hold of her, it is a giant snake that bore a creepy resemblance to Manda, the boss snake summon. It was a sickening green color and it opened its mouth and began to speak._

_"Naruto…" Naruto struggled, not wanting to hear what the snake had to say. "Naruto….I ate…your ramen."_

_Naruto screamed in agony, "NOOOOOOO!"_

"Mate, you okay?" Ron asked as Naruto trembled, still sweating from the horrible dream.

She nodded shakily, "Yeah, I'm alright, it was all just a dream." She calmed herself down and asked, "What time is it?"

Ron glanced at the large clock on the wall, "It is six thirty in the morning! You woke me up an hour early."

Naruto grinned sheepishly, "Sorry about that, well might as well just get ready, right?"

Ron just yawned, apparently in agreement before plodding off to God-knows-where. The twins came down almost immediately after Ron had left. Naruto glared at them as they approached her.

"Hello, Naruto!" They said happily, "Look we're-"  
"-dreadfully sorry-,"  
"-about the little mix-up yesterday-,"  
"-so here, have a candy!" They held out a gold box which they opened to show an assortment of delicious treats.

Naruto picked up a nougat and sniffed it lightly, she almost gagged at the complete smell of mischief it had on it. She stared at the two twins.

_"So they think they can prank me?"_She grinned and popped the nougat into her mouth, but instead of eating it, she shoved it under her tongue. "Mmm, delicious, thank you so much Lucy and Priscilla!" She then turned around and began to walk up the stairs (while spitting out the nougat and throwing it cautiously into the waste bin), halfway up she heard them speaking softly to one another.

"Damn it, it didn't work!" Priscilla complained, shaking the box of goodies.

"I dunno, Gred, maybe this batch is faulty…" Lucy said forlornly.

"I guess so Forge. Here, take one, if they're just regular candies, then I guess they're safe to eat."

"Yeah, sure." The two twins ate the candy. Naruto grinned as she began to hear the sounds of two very sick twins. "Bloody hell, they work!" Priscilla said in between throwing up. After a while they got their wits together and ate another piece of candy that was apparently the cure for the sounds of two very sick twins stopped.

Naruto grinned before slinking up the rest of the stairs and getting in the showers before anyone else woke up. She got dressed in the uniform, still upset about how short the skirt was. Grunting, she walked down to the common room and dumped all of her stuff that was in her trunk onto a table. Sorting them out on the coffee table she gasped as she realized she had an extra scroll she hadn't ever seen before. She glanced at it and gasped as she realized what it was. When the real Pein had given his life to revive everyone, Konan had handed her a scroll and told her that if Pein had lived through the jutsu he would've wanted her to have it, before heading back to the Rain Village. Naruto opened the scroll happily and frowned in disappointment as the scroll opened to reveal nothing. Naruto shrugged, and vaguely realized she could just write down some interesting stuff, so she could give it to baa-chan when she finally returned home.

Yawning, she took her stuff (now organized…somewhat), put it back in her trunk and stowed the trunk in a secretive corner behind another large grandfather clock. Glancing at the time, she realized that the rest of the girls should be waking up soon. And almost as if Naruto was psychic, Hermione came down, yawning, her hair still wet, and apparently back to normal, which put her in a happy mood. The two went off to breakfast not bothering to wait for Ron or Harry. Naruto piled bacon, toast, and eggs onto her plate and began to eat happily.

"So Hermione, when do the teachers start assigning homework?" Naruto inquired stuffing some bacon into her mouth.

Hermione sighed, "Normally after the first week, although some teachers like Snape assign homework on the first day…although he didn't yesterday. I still think it's amazing you convinced him not to take any house points."

Naruto grinned, "It's easy; I'll show you later sometime."

Hermione nodded, "So do you know what you have today?"

Naruto pulled out her schedule from her puny pocket, "Um, Transfiguration, right?"

Hermione nodded, "Yep, it should be easy enough, McGonagall, while strict, is actually alright during the beginning of school."

Ron and Harry then arrive, both talking about how bogus classes are, following them were Fred and George. The four seated themselves besides Hermione and Naruto. Ron eyed Naruto's giant pile and tried to pile more on his plate.

Naruto smiled at Ron, "Don't even try, honey, you'll be destroyed." Ron blushed a bright tomato red before glancing away and hmph-ing.

Then the twins stand up suddenly and wave their hands around, silencing everyone in the Great Hall. "In light of-,"  
"-recent events-,"  
"-we would like to challenge-,"  
"-one Naruto Uzumaki-,"  
"-to a prank battle of epic proportions-,"  
"-do you accept?" They announce, staring at Naruto.

Naruto stood up as well and smirked at the redheads, they had no idea what they were getting into, "I accept your challenge, so let the pranking begin." The twins nodded curtly before sitting back down on their chairs. Their chairs creaked dangerously before collapsing, sending Fred and George sprawling.

Naruto laughed happily, "Before you ask, I'm not going to tell you how I did that." She then flounced off proudly, most likely to prepare for her classes.

Hermione paled and turned to Ron, "This is bad, remember when they got into a prank war with Lee Jordan?"

Ron glared at her, "Of course I do! I still have scorch marks on my bum!" Harry snickered behind his hand, remembering how exactly Ron got the scorch marks on his ass.

Harry and Ron both began to tuck into their food when it exploded in their faces. Staring at their plates in horror, both only found a little note saying 'Payback'.

* * *

Sirius Black is a rather _fun _person, in many ways still a kid at heart. He loves a good laugh, and definitely a well pulled prank. Especially with all of the trouble the Marauders had gotten into while at Hogwarts. So it's safe to say that he had a very tuned fun-radar, or fun-dar, whatever.

He was eating his breakfast of rodent meat (caught by Buckbeak) when his fun-radar took off like crazy. It was like an annoying siren that you can't shut off. Sirius stepped out of the cave he had been hiding in and peered at the sun. And for the first time for a while Sirius grinned like mad. He made up his mind, no matter what the risk he was going to find the source of this fun. Even if it killed him. He whistled Buckbeak over and hopped onto his back. He figured he might as well check Hogwarts first, it was usually the source of whimsical mischief. He realized it would take quite a while to get there, and maybe he should've let his godson know beforehand, but the call of his fun-dar was like the Bat Signal. It must be answered.

"Buckbeak, think you can handle a flight to Hogwarts?" Buckbeak squawked before rearing back and taking off into the chilly morning sky.

* * *

Voldemort stared at his pitiful body, it disgusted him, and he missed the days in where he was handsome and dashing. He had gained plenty of female death eaters in those good old days; he had even been titled 'Hunkiest Evil Wizard of All Time'. But all of that was gone now, thanks to the Potter-boy.

He hissed, startling Nagini out of her slumber. Potter was going to pay for taking away his ridiculously good looks. Oh yes, he would pay dearly. He petted Nagini with a frail hand silently. With this plan, nothing could fail. Yes, this was certainly the best evil plan ever.

"With this plan, I am sure to get the secret Krabby Patty formula!" Voldemort cackled in a high-pitched voice, but stopped, "God, I sound like Justin Bieber." He complained.

**

* * *

**

**I hope I did not offend any of Justin Bieber's fans with this.  
I kind of find his voice slightly too high, but if you don't that's fine. (: Live and let live. He'll never be my cup of tea but- **

**Sorry, no replies to reviews this time, I'm too tired too, I will next chapter, I promise!**

**Excerpt from next chapter:**

_Gai clawed desperately at the space where his beloved student once stood._

_"LEEEE!" He cried, falling to his knees. "WHY?" Gai collapsed onto the dead body and gasped as he was bathed in an eerie green light. He blinked as he was suddenly surrounded by a cartoonish looking forest. _

_Suddenly a high-pitched voice filled his ears, "LOOK PIKACHU, IT'S A NEW TYPE OF POKEMON! LET'S CATCH 'EM!"_


	6. Chapter 6

**Pranksterz**

**By: Pretty Nacho**

**AN:/ Yay, for a longer chapter!**

**EDITED VERSION  
edited: March 17 2011**

_I do not own Naruto or Harry Potter_

"_**Kyuubi thinking"  
**_**"Kyuubi talking"  
**_"Thinking"/Flashback  
_"Talking"

* * *

Deep inside Naruto's mind (or stomach, whichever you prefer) an entity growled.

_**"I feel a disturbance in the force."**_Suddenly Naruto, who was in the middle of a very interesting History lesson (not) blanked out and began to stare into space.

She glared as she found herself in front of a very familiar cage. _"Kyuubi, why have you summoned me?"_A deep and evil chuckle filled the room before a tail snuck out between the bars of the cage and wrapped around her neck. Naruto glared even harder, _"Stop with the 'I'm the most evil thing in the entire world' stuff and just cut to the chase."_

The tail hesitantly let her down, **"Fine brat, kill the only fun I ever have."**The fox sniffed rather dramatically. **"In truth, I summoned you here to ask you if you were still in Konoha."**

Naruto paused for a moment and appeared to be pondering upon this before answering, _"No I don't think I am in Konoha."_

The fox's eye twitched dangerously, the girl was pushing his limits, **"Do you know where you are?"**

Naruto scrunched her face up, she was sure she had asked someone which village she currently resided in, _"No, but I do know they use sticks to channel their chakra, but they call it magic, oh and they call themselves witches and wizards instead of ninjas, I don't know why, and they seem pretty clumsy for ninjas too..."_Kyuubi's eyes widened. So _this_ is where the brat had ended up. A misty look covered the fox's face as Naruto was flung back into the real world.

* * *

"_Oh Voldemort! You're so evil, and handsome!" Kyuubi cried in his human form (which happened to be a very sexy redhead that looked quite like Bill Weasley)._

_Voldemort, a sexy man with dark hair and illustrious eyes, smirked at him, "You're evil too my love, together we can take over the world!" _

_There was a short pause before Kyuubi suddenly smacked the dreadfully handsome man. "How could you!" Kyuubi yelled dramatically, tears spilling from his eyes, "I thought you loved me! Not my power!" _

_"Kyuubi, I do love you!" Voldemort declared._

_Kyuubi glared at him and crossed his arms, "If you really love me, you'll call off your plans for world domination!" _

_Voldemort looked completely torn, "Kyuubi, you know I can't do that!"_

_Kyuubi just huffed, "Then you'll have to do it without me, forever!" As he stormed out of the large manor, he disappeared to a place where Voldemort could never find him; he melted back into his original form and quickly disappeared with a soft poof. As he disappeared he pondered and in his rage thought, __"I feel like destroying a village."_

_

* * *

_

Kyuubi sighed in Naruto's mind and laid his head on his giant paws. However, before he knew it, the call for revenge stirred up inside him. Kyuubi closed his eyes and let his killer intent run loose in the small cage. He opened his eyes, the brat and Voldemort were going to meet, one way, or another…even he himself had to make it so. With that, he turned his head, and fell into a light slumber, ready to wake at the first sign of danger.

Naruto blinked heavily as she came back into consciousness. Thankfully, almost everyone had dozed off, so no one had really paid any attention to her. She turned her head towards Hermione, who was paying full attention to the professor, how she did it, Naruto didn't know, she didn't even know if Sakura could've paid attention this long. Shrugging, she tapped Hermione's shoulder.

Hermione whirled around and asked in a rather annoyed voice, "What?"

Naruto leaned in, "Do you know what village we're in?"

Hermione blinked, astounded at the question, "Erm, well, since Hogwarts is just the school, I guess we'd be in Hogsmeade, which is the village surrounding the school."

Naruto nodded as if she had any idea what Hermione was talking about, "Thank you." Hermione just turned back towards the Professor. Naruto stared out the window, she had never heard of Hogsmeade, she guessed that if Hogsmeade were in any country it had to be Moon Country, they were the type to get into all this 'new age' stuff, and weird names…Honestly, Pigsmeade and Pigwarts. Naruto clamped a hand over her mouth to keep from giggling, but it was too late.

_Giggle._

Professor Binns whipped around so fast and immediately hovered towards Naruto. His pale face actually became a shade of pink, a shade never before achieved by a ghost. Now, most of you should remember Naruto's fear of anything undead. So of course, Naruto paled, which is kind of ironic, because now Binns looked alive and Naruto looked dead, but anyway, the point is, Naruto was scared out of her mind.

Binns sputtered and yelled at her, "IS THERE SOMETHING FUNNY ABOUT THE GOBLIN WARS?" He screamed, trying to slam his hand on the desk, but it just kind of faded through the desk instead of making a sound. Paralyzed with fear, Naruto's eyes rolled to the back of her head and she promptly fainted.

* * *

Naruto awoke in a hospital bed, surrounded by Ron, Harry, Hermione, Fred, and George. She narrowed her eyes at the twins before scratching the back of her head, "How long was I out?"

Hermione glanced at the clock, "Only for a few hours, I didn't know you were so afraid of Professor Binns! I would've helped you!" Hermione said, pulling Naruto into a hug.

Naruto awkwardly patted Hermione's head, "Don't worry, it was my fault for not telling you."

Hermione glared at her suddenly, "Yes it was!" She huffed and stormed out of the Hospital Wing.

"Waah? What did I do?" Naruto said, obviously worried.

Harry patted her shoulder in a reassuring manner, "Don't worry mate, she does that all the time, it means she cares about you." Madam Pomfrey then came in and saw that Naruto was awake; she did a quick check-up before allowing her to go back to the dormitory with Ron, Harry and the twins. On the way back the twins praised the new DADA teacher, Professor Mad-Eye Moody.

"It's amazing, I mean, it's like he knows!" Fred exclaimed, they were so excited the two normally in sync twins momentarily forgot to finish each other's sentences.

"I know, he's like been there and he's really good!" George seconded.

Ron grinned in excitement, "We have him tomorrow, and I hope it's as good as you two say it is."

The twins swung an arm around their younger brother, "When have we ever given you a reason to doubt us, Ronnikins?" George asked in mock hurt. Ron snorted while Naruto stared at them suspiciously, just waiting for them to do something.

Finally they reached the portrait of the Fat Lady. "Balderdash." Naruto spoke out, and the portrait swung open. And that's when she saw it. It was a thin string, but it was still thicker than ninja wire, and she spotted it quite easily. Her eyes followed the string and saw that when tripped it would light fireworks pointed directly at the person in the doorway. Naruto nodded sagely, they were actually pretty good at pranking…but they weren't good enough.

Fred looked at her, rather annoyed, "Well go through, we're waiting."

Naruto huffed, "I would but I just realized I had forgotten something at the Hospital Wing."

Ron groaned, "Well I'm going in anyway, I need to get started on that homework."

"NO!" The twins cried out, but it was in vain, Ron took a step in and everything went off. The high-pitched screams of Ron filled the halls for about thirty minutes until the twins finally managed to get the fireworks under control.

Ron was holding his bottom in a rather possessive manner, screaming, "Protect my bum! Protect my bum!" Naruto giggled at the chaos before turning around and walking down the stairs, she felt like getting a fresh breath of air.

She stepped outside, and it was still fairly warm, it was only about August, Naruto guessed. She closed her eyes and sat down on the grassy lawn. She stared at the clouds and almost laughed at how it reminded her of Shikamaru. She glanced at the trees, they were unfamiliar trees, they were not the leafy, canopy type that surrounds Konoha. These trees were foreboding, tall, with usually little to no leaves. The only thing remotely near the forest is a small cottage with a homey looking yard. Naruto sighed and hoped that the commotion in the common room had calmed down by now, because nature was kind of boring, she didn't know how Shikamaru could stand it. Naruto picked herself up and skipped back into the castle. She glanced at a random clock on the wall and realized that dinner should be starting in a few minutes anyway, suddenly feeling hungry she power-walked towards the Great Hall.

* * *

The next day, the weirdest thing happened, Fred and George had successfully, somehow pranked Naruto Uzumaki. I know, it's the darndest thing, right? She had woken up a bit sluggish, so this time, she didn't notice the string. So she tripped, and well, one thing led to another…and that is how Naruto ended up hanging upside down tangled in horrendous Christmas lights. Fred and George high-fived each other while Naruto rolled her eyes, she would admit, they did get her, and it was a fairly good prank…but she was an ELITE shinobi of Konoha. Gathering a kunai from her pocket she made quick work of the lights and leapt down gracefully.

"Oh Lucy, Priscilla…" Naruto called out in a sing-song voice, her eyes promising pain. Paling, the two twins immediately ran for it. Grinning to herself, Naruto stamped up the steps and into the shower. A few minutes later she was out.

Professor Moody's classroom was by far the most badass classroom ever. Naruto stared at all of the colorful bugs in jars. After settling down by a boy named Neville (Harry and Ron had decided to sit together and Hermione had promised that she would sit by Lavender) the bell rang and the professor emerged from…wherever he had been. Naruto gasped at his appearance. He had scars all over his face, a stiff leg, and an overly large blue eye that rotated everywhere. For some odd reason he reminded Naruto of Ibiki.

"Today we will be learning something that the Ministry does not want you to know. They think you're too young to experience it; however, I have gone over this with Albus, and he agrees that you need to know this. CONSTANT VIGILANCE." He barked suddenly. Naruto nearly flew out of her chair, but held her place; the boy beside her began to tremble a bit. "Today, we will be learning about the Unforgivable Curses." Gasps filled the room, while Naruto gasped in excitement, were they going to be learning about Forbidden Jutsu? Like the one Orochimaru had used to keep himself alive forever? She grinned as Moody asked the boy next to her what one curse was.

The boy stuttered before looking down and replying, "The Cruciatus Curse."

Moody nodded, "Yes you'd know all about that one wouldn't you," he picked a spider out of his desk and enlarged it, "_Crucio_!" The spider began to writhe in pain, and disappointment flitted across Naruto's face briefly before she put a fake excited smile on her face, she had learned an important lesson with Binns. However, she turned to her right and she could see the same face she constantly had seen on Sasuke's face when he was reminiscing about the complete massacre of his entire family. Her smile growing true, she placed a hand on Neville's shoulder, he turned to her, shocked, and her smile turned into a full blown grin, this kid was okay, her cerulean eyes turning into slits. Neville was about to smile shakily back when Hermione interrupted the comforting moment.

"Stop can't you see it's bugging Neville?" She shrieked with anger. The spider suddenly stopped squealing as Moody's eye whipped around to stare at Hermione. She glared back at him bravely. Naruto groaned and slammed her head against the desk, Hermione was dead, she just knew it.

Moody hobbled over to her and asked, "Well then Miss Granger, can you tell us another Unforgivable Curse?"

Hermione stuttered worse than Neville before squeaking out in a small voice, "The Killing Curse." Naruto rolled her eyes, these ninja were so predictable.

Moody gruffly nodded, "Yes, the Killing Curse, the most dangerous of the curses. The Killing Curse has no counterattack or shield. Only one has been known to survive the Killing Curse…and he's in this room…right now." The magic eye swiveled towards Harry. Naruto watched with a small smirk on her face as Moody limped towards him. Harry paled as Moody's eye stayed concentrated on his lightning bolt scar. Then with a quick wave of his wand and a short harsh, "AVADA KEDAVRA." The spider lay lifeless in front of Harry's eyes.

Yes, he definitely reminded Naruto of Ibiki. Moody then went to talk about some type of mind-control spell, Naruto tuned it out, Ino Yamanaka was one of her best friends, so it's safe to say she had the mind thing down pat. However, she was surprised when Moody began to call people up to the front of the room and began to cast the spell on them. She laughed along with everyone else as people were made to do ridiculous things like dancing around like a chicken, or doing jumping jacks. Harry however, just banged his head on the table. Moody praised him and told everyone to 'be like Potter'. Naruto tried to imagine herself with those ridiculous glasses and snorted rather loudly.

Moody's eyes rotated towards her, "Uzumaki Naruto, it's your turn." Naruto shrugged, she wasn't too afraid of being embarrassed; she skipped up towards the middle of the class. Mad-Eye pointed his gnarled stick at her and shouted, "Imperio!" A cool chill went through Naruto as the spell hit her; suddenly a voice inside her head spoke.

"_Come, sing us a song…"_A hissing voice said in the back of her mind. _  
"Why?"_She replied.  
_"Come on, sing a song, you have a beautiful voice…"_

"**What the fuck?"**Kyuubi suddenly questioned.

"_Sing, sing, sing, sing!"_Suddenly Naruto had a huge headache with an almost burning desire to break out in song. She glared at Moody, he was the one inflicting this pain on her. Suddenly everything was overridden with the impulsive ninja instinct to rid of the threat. With the aid of Kyuubi she let out a blast of chakra that sent the Professor flying.

Professor Moody slammed into the chalkboard and Naruto blinked a few times, happy that it had worked and that the spell had been cancelled, she helped the Professor up and apologized, "I'm so sorry Professor, I…I was just mad at you."

The Professor shook his head, "No worries, I'm not a pansy, good job." Naruto grinned and walked back to her seat where Neville was waiting to ask her questions.

The rest of the week was in fact uneventful; things went in a blur, the twins tried no pranks, which made Naruto rather skittish, as she had a feeling they were planning something large. It was currently dinner and Naruto was shoveling food into her mouth when she heard a very familiar cry of, "NARUTO MY COMRADE YOUR YOUTH STILL BURNS BRIGHTLY!"

* * *

Lee and Gai set out on their mission, both worried about their happy comrade-Uzumaki Naruto. Their packs were heavy on their backs as they moved towards the destination. They reached it in a matter of minutes, the body was slowly decomposing.

"Lee, my youthful student, go scout the surrounding area for signs of foul play while I'll look around the body for any clues on what happened to our youthful friend!" Gai commanded to his prodigy. Lee saluted and disappeared into the trees. Lee arrived just a few short minutes later indicating that there were absolutely no signs of a struggle or any residue of unknown chakra. Gai turned his back for just a moment, and Lee, in curiosity, poked the rotting body. Gai turned around just in time to see Lee disappear in a bright orange light.

Gai clawed desperately at the space where his beloved student once stood. "LEEEE!" He cried, falling to his knees. "WHY?" Gai collapsed onto the dead body and gasped as he was bathed in an eerie green light. He blinked as he was suddenly surrounded by a cartoonish looking forest.

Suddenly a high-pitched voice filled his ears, "LOOK PIKACHU, IT'S A NEW TYPE OF POKEMON! LET'S CATCH 'EM!"

A small, bright yellow rodent jumped from the boy's shoulder, "Pika-pi!"

"Pikachu, thunderbolt!"

The small animal curled into itself before straining, "PIKACHUUUU!" A bolt of lightning struck Gai, and he flailed about comically before laying there, completely knocked out. The boy then threw a small ball at him that encased him a white light before trapping him in the small enclosed space.

* * *

"LEE?" Naruto questioned as she wrapped the familiar, but odd boy in a rather large hug.

Lee returned the hug happily, "NARUTO, I HAVE COME TO TAKE YOU HOME!"

Naruto grinned at him, "Really? How?"

Lee opened his mouth, "…I HAVE NO IDEA, BUT WE WILL FIND A WAY!"

Naruto laughed at her friend before taking his hand and dragging him out of the Great Hall, "Come on Lee, I have so much to show you!" They paid no attention to the shocked expression on everyone's face, or the glares of two twins, but then again, they wouldn't be Lee and Naruto if they had.

* * *

**Yup, this actually is a bit longer than most chapters, bordering on about 2,850 words. :D Hope you enjoyed it. Now that Lee is here, he can't be lonely….can he? I'm thinking Luna at the moment, because I can actually think of a way to make I work. However the other choices are Fluer (o-O) or Hermione. OR VIKTOR…hey, they both have rather thick eyebrows. xD**

**Review with your choice! And also give me a few pointers, I don't mind constructive criticism. ALSO, you need to tell me if you want the Akatsuki and/or Sasuke in this story.**

"_Malfoy, I wouldn't cross me if I were you…" Naruto trailed off, inspecting her nails. _

_"And why is that, Uzumaki?" Draco sneered, whilst patting his hair._

_"Oh I don't know…maybe it's because I can make your life a living hell…" Naruto grinned at him._

_Draco's snorted, "I'd like to see you try." _

_"LEE!" Naruto called out in fake pain, "LEE, HE ATTACKED ME!" _

_And then Draco Malfoy blacked out, his only last thought was, "Those were huge eyebrows."_


	7. Chapter 7

**Pranksterz**

**By: Pretty Nacho**

**I do not own Harry Potter or Naruto**

**AN:/ AND THE PRANK WAR CONTINUES…. Malfoy FINALLY appears in this chapter, please read the AN at the bottom of the chapter when you are finished pleasseee.  
Also to answer a question asked, no Lee is not infatuated with Naruto, they're just a bit like brother/sister. Alright and the other two questions…**

**How was Gai mistaken for a pokemon? Well, he has comically big eyes, large eyebrows, wears spandex like it's a part of his skin, and at the time he was shouting 'Lee' over and over again rather dramatically….and Ash…wasn't using his noggin. O:**

**How did Gai get trapped into the pokeball? Well, the pokeball was designed to hold the pokemon…and I guess Gai has 'pokemon power' (erm, chakra), thus making the ball recognize him technically as a pokemon thus capturing him in the small prison…just roll with me here please? xD**

**Edited: 3/17/11**

* * *

**Saturday; No Classes**

Of course, Lee was questioned for a long amount of time by Dumbledore, I mean, someone just can't _appear_ in the middle of dinner, make a commotion and expect to get away with it with literally NO consequences. Honestly, what type of school do you think Hogwart's is? Sadly, with no wand or any 'magical' capabilities like Naruto's, Lee was not allowed to peek in on the lessons although he would technically be considered a student. Lee, however, hardly minded, he had spent his whole life not being able to do any type of jutsu accept for taijutsu, so not being able to carry around a fancy stick wasn't too big a deal for him. He was quite content, and constantly screamed about the beauty of Hogwarts.

He hung around Naruto, declaring himself to be 'the body guard of her youth'….which led many people to believe that Naruto and Lee were somehow lovers. This statement, Naruto vehemently denied over and over, yet it seemed the gossipers wouldn't believe her, or stop spreading lies. And in the meanwhile, the twins were plotting, and Naruto didn't like it one bit. Lee had already been pranked (his hair and eyebrows. had matched his spandex suit for a few days). She always kept one eye opened as she slept. Really, she did, it looked kind of scary, and to be honest it freaked the twins out.

However now was not the time to be cautious. Naruto gently spoke into the walkie-talkie she had obtained by mysterious means at best.

"Rocky, do you read? Do you read?" She winced as Lee shouted back,

"LOUD AND CLEAR!11!"

"Keep quiet." She reprimanded and she could HEAR his frantic nod. She peeked in through the window as she was sitting on the ledge (dressed in all black with war paint on her face, oh yeah, she meant business). Perfect, she grinned, the twins were currently mixing stuff into one of the large pots, oops, my bad, I mean cauldron.

"Rocky, commence plan!"

"HAI TAICHOU!"

With that said, Naruto gently pried the window open with a crowbar and threw a suspicious looking purple bomb into the room.

* * *

Fred and George looked up from their experimental…erm…experiment to find a purple ball had rolled into their room. Glancing at each other, they crept close to it, and peered at it. Nothing happened and George was about to prod it when it released a thick plume of pepper smoke.

"NO! A PEPPER BOMB!" Fred clawed at the air as he dropped to the floor, tears in his eyes. They heard a cackle from outside of the window; George rushed to the window to try to pry it open, but it was locked. Suddenly the door burst open and familiar voice screamed.

"FOR _YOUTH_!" A spandex clad figure jumped in and began to fire little pellets that seemed to explode on contact. George fell, screaming in agony. Naruto came up to them and put an almost gentle hand over their eyes.

"Sleep soldiers." She growled out, "It'll all be over soon."

And the twin's world went black, never seeing Naruto pull out a devious looking black marker.

They awoke many hours later, with fuzzy memories. Stumbling, they entered the common room at the exact same time as everyone was filing in from dinner. The twins seemed to not notice, thinking that there was something wrong with everyone else.

It was then that Fred turned to George, "BLOODY HELL!" He exclaimed, jumping back at least five feet. And to be honest, that probably correctly summed up what George and Fred both looked like. Both had their eye brows blown off, in place of badly drawn eyebrows that were even bigger than Lee's. They also bore walrus mustaches (that reminded Harry of his Uncle Vernon), and many random drawings. Their clothes were also spattered in paint, and had a suspicious feeling that all of this was permanent.

Their heads seemed to rotate as they turned to glare at Naruto. She grinned at them and commented nonchalantly, "Nice eyebrows…" She inspected her nails, a perfect façade of innocence. The twins just stay silent, staring at her. Naruto waved goodbye before hopping out of the common room to who-knows-where.

* * *

_Next Day Great Hall; Breakfast.  
Sunday Morning._

Naruto skipped into the Great Hall happily with Hermione walking briskly behind her, fussing around with Naruto sloppily done essay for Transfiguration. Her stomach growled dangerously and she moved towards her usual designated seat eager to dig into the piles of potatoes, bacon, and eggs.

Of course she noticed the whoopee cushion laying there innocently on her seat. However, after the mean prank, she shrugged; deciding that she might as well just give them a nice little cheap joke, besides a farting noise wasn't too embarrassing. So she sat down rather heavily, worst decision ever.

A loud siren like noise spurted from whoopee cushion.

Naruto paled, "_What have I done?_"

Fireworks were suddenly light and were aimed at her, everyone in the way ducked and Naruto tried to move, but found that she was glued to the cushion which was glued to the chair, and the chair was glued quite securely to the floor.

"No!" She screamed in terror as the fireworks approached closer and closer. She closed her eyes in anticipation, but then her savior in green spandex entered the Great Hall, seeing the approaching danger to his comrade he rushed to her side.

"KONOHA SENPU!" With a bad ass roundhouse kick the fireworks were deterred from Naruto (of course, they then exploded in Snape's face (who couldn't move out of the way fast enough), but who really cared about him, right?). Thinking she was safe, Naruto cheered, however, she did not see the twins throw two orange disks their way. The disks exploded with a light poof and when the dust cleared Naruto and Lee were there, and they were completely orange. COMPLETELY ORANGE, from their hair down to their toes. Snickers rang throughout the Hall and Naruto and Lee finally glanced down at themselves.

The twins smiled victoriously, they had successfully pranked Naruto Uzumaki, self proclaimed Queen of Pranking and Ramen and All Things Awesome. Oh yeah, they were epic.

Their victory was cut short by Naruto's shout of, "WE LOOK _AMAZING_!"

Both Lee and Naruto were twirling around, staring at themselves in amazement.

"I'VE NEVER FELT MORE YOUTHFUL!" Lee cried out, holding his fist up in the air.

Naruto giggled and inspected her hand, "We're so beautiful." She almost felt like crying. She rushed over to the twins and gathered the two rather befuddled redheads into a large hug, "I can't thank you enough!"

"Ahem, excuse me, Miss Uzumaki." Said a very cold and very familiar voice.

Naruto immediately backed off and smiled up at the Potions Professor (who had singe marks on his face), "Sorry Professor," she said, nailing him with her 'puppy-eyes-of-doom'.

Snape grunted before rounding onto the twins, "You two, come with me." He hissed out dangerously, before twirling around (and somehow, even though his cloak was nearly burned all the way off, it still swished slightly, Naruto stared in amazement) and stomping out of the Great Hall, the twins with bowed heads followed immediately.

* * *

"Not only did you cause damage to the Great Hall, you ruined my favorite billowy cloak!" Snape sneered at the cowering twins, who vaguely thought that all of Snape's cloaks looked exactly the same. "Now Dumbledore has given me full rein with this punishment," Snape grinned sadistically, "So detention with Filch for a month, starting tomorrow." The twins paled to an interesting shade of white. Snape was about to leave before he paused, "No that's not fitting enough for a crime such as this, so you have to do it wearing these," He waved his wand and two frilly dresses (decked in a Slytherin silver and green theme) appeared instantly, "These are charmed so you must wear them…if you don't, let's just say there are dire, **dire** consequences." He dropped the dresses onto a table in front of Fred and George before leaving.

Fred picked up a dress in horror, "The bastard, I bet he planned this."

George promptly agreed with a nod of his head, "Of course he did, he wouldn't be a total git if he hadn't."

The twins whimpered and stared at the sparkly show dresses.

"I will not wear it, no matter the consequences!" Fred suddenly stated, there was no way he was going to wear it, he was a MAN a straight MAN, even though robes kind of look like the muggle dress, but whatever.

* * *

****_Next Day; Monday_

Care of Magical Creatures was fucking AWESOME. That's all that Naruto could say on that topic. The teacher was GIGANTIC (in secret, Naruto jokingly called Professor Hagrid 'Big Sexy', but he wasn't going to know that). So they were taking care of these worm things called Blast Ended Skewrts, Naruto's had already farted sparks out at her more than once and she loved it, it was like playing a game.

However, it was in Care of Magical Creatures that Naruto met the 'teme' of Hogwarts.

"I can certainly see why we're trying to keep them alive. Who wouldn't want pets that can burn, sting, and bite all at once?" A snooty voice said, Naruto almost broke her neck whipping around, expecting to see Sasuke somehow magically standing there. Instead she saw a (rather tall) skinny platinum blonde who looked like he had just sniffed rotten eggs. Naruto glanced down at her wormish-thing.

"Of course, they'd be very useful in battle, y'know, you could probably distract your opponent enough to slit their throat." The boy looked disgusted at the mere mention of blood or anything that didn't involve using his precious stick (and by stick she means wand, you know not…eh…)

He then spat at her (SPAT, Jesus Christ) and sneered, "Filthy mudblood." Of course, Naruto didn't know what it meant, but recognized the tone. She tugged out a kunai and Draco almost visibly flinched thinking she was going to go all psycho on his ass, however she pulled the kunai across her own arm and blood immediately pooled out of the cut.

"Hm, isn't your blood this color too? Unless it's like toxic green or something I don't see what gives you the right to call me a mudblood." She snapped at him, the cut closed up immediately and Naruto wiped the blood on her sweater absently.

Ron, sensing a fight brewing up tugged on his friend's arm, "Come on mate, Malfoy isn't worth it."

Naruto shook her arm loose easily, she glared at him she could feel the anger she usually reserved for Sasuke welling up inside of her, "Malfoy I wouldn't cross me if I were you." She trailed off, inspecting her nails cleaning them of the quickly drying blood.

"And why is that Uzumaki?" Malfoy sneered whilst patting his hair (not a strand out of place, his father taught him well).

"Because I can make your life a living hell," She replied almost cheerily.

Malfoy snorted derisively, "I'd like to see you try."

Naruto grinned before her face contorted with pain, "LEE, HE ATTACKED ME!" She called out and in a rush of green, Malfoy's world went black, his only thought being, "_Whoa, those were big eyebrows."_

* * *

Sasuke glared at Danzo as they circled each other, this was the man that had ordered Itachi to kill the entire clan. He growled menacingly.

"It is sad that you are going against Itachi's wishes," Danzo commented offhandedly, smirking evilly. Sasuke sneered and activated his Sharingan and Karin gasped at the chakra radiating off of him.

"That's it Danzo, I challenge you to a battle."

Danzo smirked, "Then a battle you shall have." Meanwhile, Madara leaned back lazily and smirked as the two elite shinobi prepared. "_This shall be interesting_…."

Techno music filled the air and Sasuke made his move. After countless of training on DDR, he couldn't afford to lose. Danzo laughed at the youngest Uchiha.

"Son, step aside and let me show you how the pros do it!" He then proceeded to headspin before finishing with a cool pose.

"No Sasuke-kun!" Karin cried out, "You just got served!" Sasuke gritted his teeth, he must avenge his clan. He did a back flip, some crazy footwork, a headspin which lasted for ten seconds, and rolled into an insane pose in which his body was jerked at an odd angle and he was supporting his full body weight on one arm.

"Shit," Danzo cursed as he recognized the legendary and impossible move, "Susanoo, I see your brother passed it on to you, but it won't help, you cannot stop my funk!"

* * *

**SORRY SORRY SORRY.**

**I couldn't help myself, after reading the latest chapters I just couldn't get a dance battle scene between Danzo and Sasuke out of my head. And for your information I was only SLIGHTLY intoxicated while typing this, thank you very much. :/**

**Anyway, so Lee is most likely going to be paired with Luna.**

**And Sasuke and the Akatsuki are most likely going to join, still a bit iffy on that, tell me if you'd like them to be there.**

**ALSO, should Naruto be friends with Malfoy, I mean because he reminds her of Sasuke and all, or should she 'make his life a living hell'? :D**

**AND IT'S MY BIRTHDAYYY.**

**I am sixteen, oh yeah bby.**

**Word Count: About 2,050**

**-Pretty Nacho**


	8. Chapter 8

**Pranksterz **

**By: Pretty Nacho **

**I do not own Harry Potter or Naruto **

**AN:// YAY! Finally, sorry guys, I've been horribly sick and haven't been able to go to school, let alone pick myself out of bed for two whole weeks. Sorry! D: Next chapter; the other schools arrive at Hogwarts! O: **

……………………………………………………………………………………………**.**

A month and a week had passed since the twin's revenge. The pranks and sometimes counter-pranks continued constantly, some students had even taken to wearing a gas mask and protective robes/goggles at all times. Of course, the twins had in fact tried to get out of wearing the dress when they reported for detention with Filch, and it had all gone so well until they found out the _dire_ consequences.

_The twins smiled victoriously at each other, they had just finished their first detention and neither had worn their dress. Nothing had happened, they slipped into the common room and up to their beds (Filch had them scrub the dungeons, magic restricted of course) to take a well deserved rest. _

"_We did it Forge!" Fred cheered, slapping his twin a high-five before falling onto his bed. _

"_We sure did Gred!" George agreed while pulling the covers over himself, not bothering to change into sleeping clothes. They closed their eyes and slept. _

_They awoke the next day (early, as always), stretching languidly, they both plodded to the restroom and took one look in the mirror…and screamed like little girls. _

_They stared horrified at themselves; their faces were painted half silver half green and their robes that they had fallen asleep were flashing different messages such as, 'Gryffindors Suck' and 'Go Slytherin'. Their faces grew red (although it was hard to tell through the green and silver paint). _

_They rushed to their rooms and flung open their trunks to fetch their spare robes only to find they had the exact same enchantment, and sitting lightly on top of them was a note in elegant scrawl that read; _

"_I knew you two buffoons wouldn't wear the dresses, Lord knows Gryiffindors never listen. Enjoy your new look, of which I greatly approve.  
-Prof. Snape  
P.S. The look shall wear off this evening when you put on the dresses to report for detention." _

_The twins were perfectly mortified and crept down the stairs only to find Naruto wide awake (she had learned her lesson with the whole getting tangled in the Christmas lights thing). She took one brief glance at them and threw up her hands into the air. _

"_It wasn't me!" She exclaimed through giggles. The twins' dark look darkened. _

"_We know." Fred grumbled, pushing past her, might as well get done with the embarrassment. _

After that day they showed up everyday in the ridiculous dresses, better to be humiliated in private than in public, they reasoned, and they were very careful as to avoid anyone who could be wandering the halls after curfew.

Not surprisingly, Draco's past month and one week hadn't gone any better; in fact it had slowly declined into living hell.

Week one; Draco was eating soup for lunch as he had Divination next and it always made him a bit queasy to be stuck in the room that smelled suspiciously like vision-inducing herb. He was chatting briefly with Pansy, a squeaky sounding, but nice enough looking girl and was making her blush as much as possible, Draco usually relied on his good looks to get many things from girls, who were more than happy when Draco sent a sultry wink their way. However, he went for another sip of his soup when a large slimy green snake floated up ominously. Ruby red eyes stared at him amongst the vegetables.

Draco ran out of the hall screaming like a girl while a certain blonde-haired Gryffindor snickered happily behind a hand.

Week two; Draco strolled down the halls, humming the latest Weird Sister's tune his hands stuffed in his pockets. Pansy had ignored him in favor of the 'manlier' Blaise Zabini. Draco rolled his eyes; the girl had no idea what he was giving up. Everyone wanted him, fuck, he bet even Uzumaki wanted him. He shivered slightly at the thought of the rather feline-looking girl. He was sure she had been the one to put the snake in his soup, how, he didn't know. Draco looked around warily and adjusted his book bag and entered the Dungeons for his favorite class, Potions.

Snape glided in like a bat and stared at the classroom.

"Essays are due today," Snape said snidely, walking down the aisles and snatching up parchment as he went. Naruto handed hers in with a big grin and Snape found his mouth twitching, but Snape never smiled, never. Snape rounded onto the Slytherins and Draco produced his essay with a flourish, Snape took it from his hand and glanced over it before looking at Draco.

"Do you think this class is _joke_, Mr. Malfoy?" Snape questioned with a sneer usually reserved for Gryffindors. Draco paled dramatically and shook his head back and forth wildly, wondering what had gotten the Professor pissed.

"Then please explain this," Snape sneered, shoving his paper back at him. Draco sent him a questioning look before scanning his paper, he gasped. Instead of his essay that he had worked for days on it now just repeated one phrase.

"Potions is for buttlickers." Snape trailed off, "Mr. Malfoy, fifty points from Slytherin." With that Snape turned around and stalked back to his desk, a sour expression on his face, obviously from deducting points from a house other than Gryffindor. With a flick of his wand potion directions appeared on the board. "You have one hour to make it," He hissed out, baring large yellow teeth, "Get moving."

Week three; Draco had somehow walked into the Great Hall naked without knowing.

Week four; Draco was attacked various times throughout Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. All he could remember of the attacks was a bright streak of green across his vision.

Week five; Naruto approached Draco, who had been on guard all day. She tapped him on the shoulder and he spun around wildly, flailing his arms. Seeing the other blonde, he straightened his robes and fixed his hair before asking her,

"_What do you want?" _

Naruto grinned at him and extended a hand towards the pale and shaking Malfoy. "Hey, how about a truce?" Draco glared at the hand suspiciously, Naruto rolled her eyes. "Come on, Malfoy, I'm kind of getting tired of plotting her demise when I could be plotting Priscilla's and Lucy's…" She trailed off. Draco unconsciously straightened out his robes once more.

"Why should I trust anything _you_ say, filthy mudblood?" He said pompously, spinning around and walking away. Naruto grinned.

"That's exactly what I thought you were going to say," She mumbled to herself before spinning around and cackling evilly, "You're going to regret that, Draco-dearest."

The next day Draco was moving down the halls smoothly as always, his hair perfected, slicked back with gel as always when suddenly his head felt very hot, almost as if it were on fire….which it was. He screamed bloody murder while some people began to shout.

"STOP DROP AND ROLL, DRACO!" Snape shouted, running out from the Potions classroom.

"MY HAIR, MY HAIR!" Draco screeched, following his Professor's commands, rolling on the floor like wild.

Later on in the infirmary Draco was glaring at Madam Pomfrey.

"Why can't you just give me some Hair Regrowth Potion and get it over with?" He asked, sneering at the plump but caring woman. Madam Pomfrey huffed.

"Well I'll have you know that because of the explosion sent off by the Weasley twins just yesterday burnt off almost thirty students' hair and I am fresh out of the potion and Severus says the newest batch won't be ready for another two weeks!" At hearing these words Draco wailed, his beautiful luscious hair! It was gone! With that Draco jumped out of the bed.

"UZUMAKI YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR!" He screamed towards the ceiling while Madam Pomfrey chuckled behind her hand.

……………………………………………………………………………………………**.**

_Monday October 14__th_

_Great Hall _

_Breakfast _

"That's right folks, I was in the infirmary and Draco Malfoy was BALD and he was blubbering like a baby!" Seamus Finnigan declared, using elaborate gestures to really get the point through. The Gryffindors burst out in laughter, Ron gripped onto Harry's shoulder for support as the bacon that was in his mouth sprayed across the table. Naruto giggled along with them, a knowing glint in her blue eyes. Then she spotted **him**.

"Hey, Hermione!" She said tugging on her friend's sleeve. Hermione spun around and shot a questioning glance at Naruto. "Who's that?" Naruto said almost dreamily while pointing at the person who had just entered the Great Hall. Hermione's eyes followed the direction she was pointing at and she giggled before replying.

"That's Cedric _Diggory_," Hermione said, sighing as if the mere name was the sweetest of wines, "He's a sixth year prefect, and way out of your league." She added, noticing the practically love-struck look on her friend's face. Naruto blinked watching the tall, muscled boy make his way towards his friends.

"Damn, I'd let him sneak into my Restricted Section." Naruto said as Hermione nodded along. Naruto glanced over at Hermione, "I'm going to go speak to him." She said, getting up and pushing her plate away. Hermione reached for her.

"No, don't do it!" Hermione exclaimed as Naruto neared the Hufflepuff table.

Naruto sat herself right by the Diggory boy and jabbed him in the side to get his attention. He turned around, looking at her quizzically. She waved at him before asking.

"Is that a wand in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

To which Cedric responded,

"Actually, I do have a wand in my pocket," He pulled a stick out of his robe and waved it lightly in her face, "Anything else you have to ask me?" Naruto stared at him with her mouth agape, was he fucking joking? Then he did it, he winked and she closed her mouth and glared at him, oh yeah, she was so going to get him back.

"Yes Ceddie-dearest, I was wondering if you could tutor me, I mean, I've heard that you're very good at it." She said, fluttering her eyes flirtatiously. Cedric stared at her with one perfectly raised eyebrow; the innuendo was not even hidden properly.

"Yes, I believe I am free for the night, Miss Uzumaki. I hope you come prepared, or I might have to deduct some points and punish you."

"Oh, well punish away, _prefect_."

"Yes, I believe some _quality_ detention is in order." Cedric leaned closer

Hermione, and basically the rest of the students currently in the Great Hall at the moment were watching the erm…unique exchange between the two.

"What will I need to wear at this _quality_ detention?" Naruto asked, leaning in as well.

"Just your birthday suit." Cedric said his voice just above a whisper.

"Yay! I love my birthday suit," Naruto waved her hand, breaking the sexual tension, and a large orange t-shirt appeared that said 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO NARUTO UZUMAKI THE GREAT!' And with that Naruto walked away, but not before throwing a wink at the Hufflepuff. Cedric's mouth dropped open as he watched her sit by the Granger girl, continuing with the conversation they were having moments before.

"That's how you do it, Hermione!" Naruto said happily, raising her hand for a well deserved high-five.

"Where in the world did you learn to flirt so…brashly like that?" Hermione said, complying with the girl's high-five request.

"Well back at home all of my teachers were perverts. There was Pervy-sage, Kakashi-sensei, and closet pervert!" Naruto said counting on her fingers. Hermione almost fell out of her chair.

"Well Hermione, I need to run back to the common room to get my supplies." Naruto said, running out of the Great Hall before Hermione could even open her mouth.

……………………………………………………………………………………………**.**

**Meanwhile With Lee **

Lee was currently running his one hundred daily laps around the Hogwarts grounds when he ran into a blonde girl sitting by herself by the lake while staring blankly at the dark waters. Lee jogged up to her.

"HELLO AND GOOD MORNING FELLOW YOUTHFUL STUDENT!" He shouted. The girl turned to him and that's when he saw them, she was wearing a rather odd smelling necklace and a pair of very large earrings. Lee's eyes watered at their beauty.

"EXCUSE ME, BUT WHERE HAVE YOU ACQUIRED SUCH YOUTHFUL ACCESSORIES?" He screamed out again, quite anxious to learn the source of the unique jewelry. The girl smiled rather dreamily.

"I made these myself," She said in a soft voice, contrasting Lee's loud and harsh tone, "They protect against the very malicious Gerginks that lurk the grounds."

Lee gasped; jewelry with the ability to ward off dangerous creatures? He stuck his thumb up rather harshly and smiled. "YOU ARE VERY YOUTHFUL! THEY ARE AS BEAUTIFUL AS THE LOTUS BLOSSOM!" The girl smiled and patted the area beside her, inviting him to sit. Lee shook his head. "I MUST COMPLETE MY HUNDRED LAPS AROUND THE SCHOOL; I ONLY HAVE TWENTY MORE TO DO!"

"I'll join you then," The girl replied, getting up and dusting off her robes. "I could do with a good run about now."

"YOSH! LET'S GET GOING!" And Lee blazed off…with the girl close on his heels. Lee was surprised to find that after a few laps the girl began to surpass him, her blonde hair whipping behind her. Lee grinned; he had found a youthful competitor! He picked up the speed and the two raced around the Hogwarts grounds for many minutes.

……………………………………………………………………………………………**.**

"We have found evidence that because Pein had been about to use Shinra Tensei before his death and because the nine-tailed jinchuuriki threw a large ball of concentrated chakra at him, it forced a rip in all of the dimensions, relatively a small one that can only be entered if you touch his body. However it is uncertain where a person will be sent." Said one Madara Uchiha, staring at the few people in front of him. There were so little of them left, nevertheless, they were all sacrifices for the greater good.

"My powers make it so that we may return; it also makes it so that I will appear within about 100 kilometers from where the jinchuuriki was sent. However I cannot say the same for the rest of you, some of you may land in an unfamiliar place, some may land with me. But will you risk your life for the greater good?"

Everyone nodded, they had nothing else. Madara grinned, "Totally excellent!"

……………………………………………………………………………………………**.**

**If anyone gets what Madara said, I'll love you for ever. xD **

So yeah, sorry for the VERY late update, happy about all of the reviews! I promise to write more as I get better! :3

The Akatsuki will arrive a little later than the other schools. Mmkay? ;D

-NACHO UR AUTHORZ \.


	9. Chapter 9

**Pranksterz **

**By: Pretty Nacho **

**I do not own Harry Potter or Naruto **

**AN:// Here you go! (: & Kudos to the two people that got it right. Bill and Ted's Totally Excellent Adventure. (; **

Cho was the prettiest Ravenclaw. Of this, anyone could be certain. With just a toss of her hair, men would fall to their knees before her. She used her amazingly good looks to her advantage often, she also thought many times that the Sorting Hat should've placed her in Slytherin. Cho was also very popular, so much in fact that even Harry Potter knew her and had a crush on her. It was also no secret among the Ravenclaws that Cho was looking to get into one Cedric Diggory's pants. This is why that seeing Naruto Uzumaki and Cedric Diggory flirting so brashly in front of everyone infuriated her to no end.

Cho stared at the mirror in front of her. She was pretty enough, at least prettier than that Naruto chick anyway. She let out a long breath. She would just have to get to Cedric before he was snagged by the Gryffindor. Throwing a wink to herself in the mirror; Cho dashed out to greet the two schools who were arriving for the thrilling Triwiard Tournament. She was immediately followed by her group of friends.

Naruto however, had an arm slung around Harry while another was slung around Ron, her feet dangled in the air as the two practically carried her to the Entrance. Finally she let go and began to walk herself, causing her two friends to let out a sigh of relief. She grinned at the two of them.

"You're such weaklings."

"Well excuse us for not being built like bloody Crabbe and Goyle." Ron said in defense, rubbing his shoulder, "And for the record you're a lot heavier than you bloody look." Harry nodded in agreement, all thought process seemingly thrown out the window as Cho Chang breezed into his line of vision. Naruto noticed his blatant drooling/staring and slapped Harry on the back.

"Why don't you just do her?"

"What?" Harry finally stuttered out, looking at his blonde friend in disbelief.

"You know, get your bone on, go full monty, smack that monkey?" Naruto said going through all of the phrases that had been in Jiraiya's latest Icha Icha book. Harry paled dramatically.

"I don't like her for just that!" He defended his love heatedly.

"Yeah, you also like her brains, her ass, her heart, her ass, her ability to make you laugh, her ass, her smile, and her ass. All boys want at your age, Harry is SEX SEX SEX. At least, that's what my teacher Iruka taught me!" Naruto replied rather sagely, nodding her head. Harry opened his mouth as if to retort but just closed it, staring at Naruto strangely.

Suddenly they were joined by Fred and George.

"Hey Naruto!" The said simultaneously. Naruto grinned at them in response.

"Hey Luce, Prissy." She ruffled their hair (although she had to stand on tiptoes to accomplish such a feat). "I hope there'll be hot guys from these other schools." Naruto commented as they neared the entrance. Fred and George suddenly looked as if they smelled something horrid. She peered at their faces, "Oi, you two okay?"

"Of course,"

"we are,"

"what else would we be?" The two chuckled nervously. Naruto narrowed her eyes briefly before they reached the entrance. Naruto then tugged Harry and Ron towards the front of the clouds.

"Bye Lucy and Priscilla, I want to be one of the first to check out the guys!" She said, throwing back a wink. Harry and Ron gaped at Naruto in horror while trying to break from her grasp. "It's useless to fight," She said noticing their vain efforts, "You might as well just give up."

"Hey what's that?!" Some completely random kid shouted, pointing a finger into the sky. Everyone momentarily forgot what they were doing to glance into the sky as if hypnotized. A slow dot weaved its way towards them.

"It's a…carriage?" Ron said, and it was indeed a carriage. A rather large carriage about the size of a third of the school and attached to the carriage was a team of rather large flying horses.

Finally the carriage landed with a loud thump and everyone jumped back in surprise. Slowly the door was opened and out came the largest woman Naruto had ever seen. Her eyes widened dramatically and she took a step back as the woman walked gracefully towards Dumbledore. She shook his hand and spoke to him briefly before a line of girls marched behind her and into Hogwarts, all the meanwhile glancing around suspiciously.

Naruto's shoulders slumped, no hot guys, only girls. She glanced towards Ron to find him practically drooling at one of the girls decked in powder blue. She grinned and nudged him in the ribs harshly. When he turned to glare at her, she waggled her eyebrows suggestively. He turned red and bowed his head in shame of being caught.

She looked around, awaiting the next school that would hopefully have some goddamned men! After a few minutes the Black Lake began to swirl around a bit. Soon a large ship began to emerge; people gaped at the ship in wonder. Naruto grinned as the boat neared shore and MEN stepped out. She squealed in happiness as her eyes drank in the gorgeous boys.

Suddenly a guy walked out with large eyebrows and dark furrowed eyes. Naruto stared, the eyebrows reminded her of Lee, whom she had seen little of lately, the men forgotten, Naruto turned to scan the crowd. She found Lee talking animatedly to a blonde-haired girl who was nodding along with him. She tilted her head to the side and grinned at the two, Lee finally found someone who put up with his erm…_exuberance_.

She sighed and watched as the men marched into the Hall until Ron exclaimed, "That's him, that's bloody Viktor _Krum_!"

"Sounds like Ron has a man-crush." Naruto said, grinning. Ron turned red, most likely in rage with a mixture of embarrassment. However, before Ron could get a word in for his defense, Naruto sauntered off and into the building. She grinned when she realized that the girls had made themselves comfy at the Ravenclaw table and that the men had decided to sit where Draco and his posse usually sits. Poor Ron would be devastated.

She sat down and soon enough Hermione entered followed by Ron and Harry. Hermione was currently telling Ron off for something and the totally _whipped_ expression on his face was just too funny, even if he wouldn't admit it, those two were totally going to get hitched someday and have many red-haired genius kids.

Dumbledore, being the great wizard he is, made quite a long speech about how delighted he was to simply have the two schools here. Naruto tuned it out for the most part, it was all 'Great Tradition' this and 'sportsmanship' that. After a while the old man finally sat down and the food appeared. Ron and Naruto looked at each other and a silent understanding flew between them.

It was _so_ fucking on.

Naruto immediately grabbed the beef and potatoes while Ron opted for the lamb leg. They began to cram the different foods into their vacuum-like mouths with great gusto. It was only about thirty minutes later (Naruto was ahead by a chicken leg and four big scoops of mashed potatoes) when she breezed up.

Her hair was like a sheet of silver and her eyes were a stunning shade of icy blue. She turned a sweet smile at Ron (who quickly swallowed everything that was in his mouth) and asked, "Are you finished with your pudding." And at the moment, all Ron could think of was how enchanting this moment was and he saw flashes of silver haired children with adorable freckles.

"Yeah, we're done with it…" Ron trailed off, reaching for the bowl of said pudding only to find that Naruto had seized it and was currently face down in it making horrible 'OMNOMNOMNOM' noises. Naruto lifted her face out of the bowl (which was now covered in the dessert) and smiled innocently.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did you want some?" She held out the bowl towards Ron and the strange girl. The girl sniffed haughtily, turned around, and walked back to her own seat. Ron blinked as the moment of enchantment was broken.

"Oh shit," he realized, "What's the score?"

"Naruto has you beat by three chicken legs, six scoops of mashed potatoes, three scoops of green beans, two steaks, and it appears a whole tub of pudding." Hermione supplied helpfully. Ron groaned, admitting his defeat. Naruto laughed.

"You know, you aren't really any competition, I wish Chouji were here, even I lose to Chouji." She shook her head at all of the food eating contests she and Chouji had together, "Damn, he could put it away…" she trailed off, her eyes going hazy, "But Kakashi had us both beat for speed, although he could only force down three bowls of ramen in one sitting. We never did see his face."

Hermione, Ron, and Harry all exchanged glances across the table. Naruto did this sometimes; she would go off into her own little world before snapping back to reality. She blinked again and said, "Well, I think the Hogwart's champion is going to be from our house or Hufflepuff."

"What makes you say that?" Hermione said, placing a spoonful of carrots delicately into her mouth. Naruto just shrugged.

"It would be the logical thing, I mean, the two other schools are getting all buddy-buddy with Ravenclaw and Slytherin, and it's almost like the champions from those schools will also represent the House, I'm just saying it'd make sense."

Hermione paused mid-bite, contemplating, before nodding, "Yeah, it does make sense, now that I think about it. That's pretty observant of you."

"Are you saying I'm not observant?" Naruto protested. Hermione fixed her with a look that said, _yes, of course_, before she started to talk to Ron again. Naruto pouted and placed her head into her hands.

Finally it was time to dismiss to the dorms. Naruto was sleepy at this point; being full always made her quite drowsy. Some people ran off to put their names into the goblet, well Naruto could care less. She flopped onto her couch and fell asleep.

The next day Naruto watched with great interest as Lucy and Priscilla tried to put their names into the goblet with this type of potion they created. They were immediately flung back, sporting beards that looked quite similar to Dumbledore's. They were escorted to the infirmary.

Naruto watched as hopefuls came up and entered their names into the cup. She watched as an eerie blue light took the names in earnest.

That night no one wanted to eat, they were all waiting for the names to spill from the cup. Naruto watched as well, until finally Dumbledore stood up and walked to the cup. He pulled off the cloth to reveal the beautiful engraved cup. The blue flames danced merrily.

Suddenly the cup flared and a piece of paper burst forth. Dumbledore reached out and grabbed it. "The champion for Beauxbatons is….Fleur Delacour!" Naruto snorted as the girl with the silver hair who had asked for their pudding stood up. Girls around the table who had obviously put their names into in the goblet burst into heavy, dramatic tears. Fleur shook the old man's hand, took her slip of paper and receded into the backroom.

Another slip of paper burst from the cup. "The champion for Durmstrang is…Viktor Krum!" The Durmstrang boys clapped lightly for what they had expected. Finally, we all leaned forward in our seats for the next name.

"The Hogwarts champion is….CEDRIC DIGGORY!" The Hufflepuff table burst into loud bouts of applause. A few even tossed about confetti. Dumbledore smiled and was about to make a speech when nine large red tendrils of flames burst from the cup. Dumbledore turned around and his eyes widened in surprise.

Naruto gasped. _"Kyuubi what the __fuck__ are you doing?" _

"**Interfering." **

A piece of paper innocently burst from the cup and fluttered into Dumbledore's hands.

* * *

DUN DUN DUN.

The Akatsuki will be arriving very soon, kay?

Rawr, once again sorry for the late update, testing is coming up and the teachers have been running around like chickens with their heads cut off, and I'm not joking about this.

I've been writing paragraphs of this over the last three weeks because the homework was simply too much.

ANYWAY, be glad it's out now, no?

The other one will be hopefully before testing starts, _hopefully_. D:

**-Nacho, your ever so faithful author. (That one time at the bar doesn't count, I was thoroughly sloshed and didn't know who was who. :c ) **


	10. Chapter 10

**Pranksterz **

**By: The one and only- Pretty Nacho. **

**AN:// -cough- Erm, testing is still going on, so I am happy I am able to get this out, even though I should be asleep, it's 10:33 already and it's kind of a rule to be in bed at at least 9:45. Shh, haha. Luckily both my parents are already asleep so they won't know the wiser. Anyway, hope you enjoy the paragraph, I'll start on the next one when testing ends (Wednesday next week). **

**Warning: A bit of yaoi in this chapter DON'T WORRY- there isn't much. (: **

**I do not own Naruto or Harry Potter **

"Naruto Uzumaki!" Naruto blinked, obviously she had been expecting her name to be called, but once it was called, she froze up like a deer caught in particularly bright headlights. Naruto stared widely at Dumbledore who was holding the paper in his right hand. "Naruto Uzumaki?!" He repeated, almost angrily now.

"Go Naruto," Hermione said softly, pushing her forward. Naruto scowled and began to walk towards Dumbledore. Naruto could feel the tension. She walked swiftly up to Dumbledore and asked.

"What do you want, old man?!" she pointed an accusing finger at Dumbledore. He handed her the piece of paper and gestured for her to walk into the adjacent room where all the champions were held. Naruto walked in with confidence that she wasn't sure she had.

The pretty girl-Fleur was her name- glared at her, recognizing her because of her piggy pudding-eating ways. "Do they want us to go back out there?" she inquired, tossing her hair back in a snooty way.

"No, if you were listening, you'd know that by some odd twist of fate, my name came out of the cup and I was directed back here. This is odder than the time Akamaru disappeared for a while and Kiba thought Chouji had eaten him." Naruto nodded sagely- as if what she said had made any type of sense- and tossed her hair back in a fashion most similar to Fleur.

"That is not possible!" The large woman (who Naruto guessed was her sensei or something of the like), "You must of cheated, the little brat!" The large woman pointed a gnarled painted finger at Naruto.

"Now, now Madame Maxine now is not the time for assumptions," Dumbledore said, breezing in smoothly, "Everything can be solved in a calm manner." He then turned around and shook Naruto harshly by the shoulders, "Did you put your name into the Goblet of Fire?!" Naruto shook her head, her eyes wide with fear. Dumbledore then released her and straightened his beard, "See? That was solved."

"Well obviously she is lying!" Madame Maxine protested.

"I must agree with Miss Maxine on this matter," Mad-Eye said, hobbling into the room. Naruto glared at him, crossing her arms over her chest. What would he know with his creepy eye and artificial leg!

"May I remind everyone that it would take an extremely powerful wizard or witch to fool the Age Line that Dumbledore drew? And to confuse the Goblet into thinking that four schools were competing instead of just three." Snape defended his favorite Gryffindor, daring anyone to refute what he said. Naruto inwardly cheered him on.

"I demand a redraw!" The man with the beard said. Dumbledore waved a hand.

"That is not possible, Igor, as the cup cannot be activated for another year," He looked around in a contemplating fashion, "I believe that only there is one person qualified to decide whether Miss Uzumaki stays or not…" Dumbledore glanced meaningfully at an old man who cleared his throat, his eyes darting back and forth nervously.

"Well, the rules clearly state that if their name was drawn out of the Goblet they must compete, Miss Uzumaki will compete."

"**Yes, score!" **

"_I still have no idea what your messed up intentions are." _

"**It will all fall into place later, young one." **

"_Now is not the time to go all Yoda on me, damn it!" _

The adults respected (although obviously not agreed with) the man's decision and they all slowly filed out of the room, leaving the four contestants to stare at each other. Silence filled the room until Naruto yawned.

"Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm going to bed, you know beauty sleep and all that." Naruto began to walk out of the room, Cedric stood up and hurried after her, a bit uncomfortable with the way Fleur had been eyeing him.

"Hey Naruto, wait up!" Cedric called, Naruto paused and allowed him to catch up. They walked quietly for a while until Cedric broke the silence. "I think I know why you entered your name into the cup." Naruto looked suspiciously at him.

"Do you?" she questioned warily. They were nearing the Fat Lady so she paused and turned to face him.

"Yes, you see, I think you're _absolutely_ crazy about me. When you found out that I had entered my name into the cup you found a way you could get close to me, so you concocted a brilliant plan and entered your name into the cup. All to get my attention. Well consider my attention yours." Cedric practically purred.

Naruto grinned and leaned forward so that her face was only about three inches away from Cedric's, "You know, you may be right. I might want to get close to you, I might be absolutely vying for your undivided attention," Cedric's eyes darkened and he leaned forward as if to kiss her but Naruto held up one finger pressing it to his lips, "but you'll never know." With that she turned around and dashed to the portrait, "Good night Mr. Diggory."

She opened the portrait and was surprised when streamers flew at her and people jumped out screaming congratulations. She leapt back in surprise. Both Lucy and Priscilla rushed up to her.

"How'd you manage it?" Fred inquired, awed at the girl's amazing skills.

"Well, at least there's a Gryffindor champion, even if it isn't me," said a tall girl- Angelina- patting Naruto approvingly on the back.

Naruto's eyes widened at how accepting her friends were, they were not accusing her like Sakura would've been if she were there.

"Yeah, great job." Said a voice sarcastically, Naruto glanced towards the voice and saw Ron who glared at her before stomping up to the boy's dorm. She looked on a bit worriedly, but was quickly whisked away by Fred and George who claimed she needed to drink tons of butter-beer.

* * *

The last of the great gang Akatsuki stood around the quickly decomposing body. Madara pointed a finger at Kisame. "You must grab the crotch, or it won't work." Madara stated. Kisame paled and inched towards the body.

"You serious?" He stuttered out, looking like a baby seal that was about to be clubbed to death.

Madara nodded, "I am positive."

Kisame properly 'eww'-ed before quickly grabbing the rotting crotch and closing his eyes. The rest however watched in wonder as a bright pink light surrounded Kisame and transported him away in a poof.

"So you really have to grab…there?" Zetsu inquired, squirming rather uncomfortably. Madara snickered.

"No, I just thought it'd be funny." And with that said he shoved Zetsu towards the body, he was engulfed in a bright orange light and disappeared in a manner similar to Kisame's. Finally Madara closed the eye that held the Sharingan and opened it, activating his most powerful form. Concentrating his chakra, he placed a hand on an arm that seemed like it was about to fall off and then he too disappeared with a soft poof and a flash of orange light.

* * *

Kisame opened his eyes to see Itachi before him. "You're alive?" He asked dumbly, but Itachi ignored him and stepped right through him. Kisame whirled around to see himself. He stared in horror as Itachi grabbed his other self and proceeded to kiss the living daylights out of him. Kisame's mouth dropped open in horror as other-him responded positively to the treatment and wrapped his arms around Itachi's neck.

"No…" he whispered and looked to his left only to see Sasori and Deidara embracing in an intimate manner. He whirled to his right to see Pein whipping Madara who was screaming, 'I'm a good boy!'

"WHAT IS THIS PLACE?!" Kisame screamed, dropping to his knees and sobbing softly into his robes. "_There's no place like home, there's no place like home_…"

* * *

Zetsu opened his eyes to see that he was inside a rather dingy hut. He sneered at the horrible lack of interior decorating. The front door flung open to reveal an absolutely large man with a beard.

"Well look at this little guy, Fang!" The giant man boomed, "I've never seen such a remarkable creature!"

Zetsu found himself running in fear from the man who was insisting he come back so that he could be 'cataloged' probably some type of torture. Zetsu threw a glance behind him to see that the man was chasing him waving around a…

"NO! Not a butterfly net!" He screamed, running even faster.

* * *

Madara opened his eyes (or eye, whatever) and saw that he was currently in a rather dense forest. He stood up and brushed the dust off his robe with dignity, that is until a frantic Zetsu ran into him, knocking him over.

"RUN! HE HAS A BUTTERFLY NET!" Zetsu squeaked out, pointing behind him. Madara looked up to see a large man waving a net around screaming.

"COME BACK HERE LITTLE FELLER!"

Madara paled and joined Zetsu in running for their lives.

* * *

"You have failed me once again!" A high pitched voice screeched. The sound of a smack resounded through the room as Voldemort pimp-slapped his follower. "You fool! How could you fail such a simple mission?"

The follower held his cheek, his eyes downcast, he had failed his master and for that he was truly sorry. He glanced up at his master, but immediately looked back down.

"I'm sorry, but the strangest thing happened with the Goblet, it suddenly burst out with nine large columns of flame and-,"

"Wait, nine large columns of flame? Did these flames have a dark feeling about them, and were they a reddish color?" Voldemort narrowed his eyes at the follower.

"Yes sir, they also felt very powerful, there was nothing I could do." The follower nodded frantically, hoping to get himself out of trouble.

"Very well, your mistake might work in my favor in the end; Nagini will not eat you for dinner tonight."

Somewhere in the room a snake hissed in obvious displeasure. The follower bowed several times.

"Thank you Lord, gracious Lord, oh humble Lord."

"Yes, now leave before they notice your absence."

* * *

**YUP, it was a bit shorter than most chapters, but mostly because I wanted to get everything in place. (: **

**So yeah, everything's slowly progressing, yessss. :D **

**Tips & Reviews are always welcome. **

**So yeah, click that button. **

**-Pretty Nacho **


	11. Chapter 11

**Pranksterz **

**By: Pretty Nacho**

**AN:/ ….Yeah, I really have no excuse. **

**I do not own Harry Potter or Naruto. **

Zetsu and Madara both whimpered as they glanced around, they were by the hut that Zetsu had first appeared in and were both trapped in some type of indestructible cage. Zetsu grabbed onto the bars and glanced out sullenly. The big man had captured them with the butterfly net. The man was currently staring at them with wide eyes with a piece of paper and a feather. He felt horrible, and was pretty sure that Madara had gone over the deep end already.

Madara was stuffing some type of food into his mouth (by putting it under his mask) and held some out to Zetsu.

"C'moonnn Zetty-chan, it ain't too baaaad!" Madara giggled out, rocking back and forth. Zetsu grimaced at the food and turned around.

"Hm, Specimen two seems to respon' well to cooked cow innards." The man made a few marks on his paper. He then leaned forward and peered at Zetsu, who cowered in the far corner of the large cage.

"I kno' I can ha' the four' years take a look a' ya!" The man seemed to be satisfied with his own answer before lumbering back into the hut. As soon as the door slammed shut Zetsu whipped around and grabbed Madara by the shoulders.

"NOW'S OUR CHANCE, LET US ESCAPE BEFORE HE DECIDES TO COOK _OUR_ INNARDS!" Zetsu had long ago figured out that while he could understand the man, he didn't seem to be able to understand them.

"But Zetty-chan this is shoooo gud!" Madara fell back and chuckled insanely while rolling around.

Zetsu tossed his head back and screamed.

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

…

Naruto hadn't seen much of Lee lately, and she didn't bother calling him for help as she could perfectly handle herself, but still she seldom saw him anymore and was a bit worried. Well…until that morning that is.

"GOOD MORNING YOUTHFUL HOGWARTS STUDENTS!" A very familiar voice shouted out, kicking in the door. Lee stood there smugly in all of his glorious green spandex-ness. Naruto grinned at him. Then a girl jumped out from behind him, wearing a silver spandex suit similar to Lee's. Only she had this large earrings and this odd necklace. She soon realized that this was the same girl she had seen Lee with at the other schools' arrival only a few days prior.

"YES, MAY THE BRIGHTNESS OF YOUR YOUTH PROTECT YOU FROM NARGLES!" The girl held up a fist while tears streamed down her pretty face. Lee looked at her while similar tears ran down his face.

"LUNA MY LOVE, YOUR YOUTH IS A SHINING LIGHT IN A SEA OF DARKNESS!" Lee opened his arms wide for a hug. The girl happily embraced him and everyone's mouths dropped open in shock when a beautiful sunset background appeared behind them.

"LUNA!"

"LEE!"

"LUNA!"

"LEE!"

"NARUTO!" Naruto cried, flinging both her arms around the two energetic people. The three embraced all crying tears of (supposed) joy. Everyone watched in surprised silence. Then finally, to the relief of most of the people in the Great Hall, the trio burst apart. Naruto's mouth dropped open, however, when Luna tugged Lee into a rather passionate kiss. Naruto coughed, a bit embarrassed about being so close to the couple that looked about ready to get 'youthful' all over the place. She was saved however when the Durmstrang champion- Viktor Krum- came running into the Great Hall screaming.

"VAT HAPPEN TO MY EYEVROW?"

Naruto grinned as people stifled laughs at the sight of Viktor Krum without any eyebrows, which once made him look rather serious. Now he had a permanent shocked expression on his face. "_Wait for it…_" Naruto thought in delight, her brilliant prank unfolding right before her eyes.

"_I am soo bored." Naruto complained as she strode out of the common room. She thought about all the shit that had been going on lately. Ron was ignoring her, so she needed a way to get his attention to find out what was wrong. She thought about this 'Triwizard Tournament' and why Kyuubi wanted her to so desperately compete in it, without telling her __**anything**__. She also thought about the other champions. They didn't seem like much competition, but then again, she had been told to never underestimate anyone. She giggled at the uppity Fleur Delacour and at the so serious looking Viktor Krum. Suddenly, Naruto had an idea. _

Viktor Krum spun around, looking for the culprit, to his dismay though; it just made everyone in the Great Hall burst out in uncontrollable laughter. Written on the back of his robes was in bright red and gold.

'**I LOVE RON WEASLEY' **

She caught Ron's eye, conveying a simple message. _You're welcome. _Naruto was saddened however when Ron just snorted and spun around. What was up with him lately? He refused to talk to her most of the time and glared at her constantly. She stared at him, knowing she'd have to ask around to find out what was wrong.

However, suddenly breakfast was over and it was time for Potions. She gathered the things required and bounded into the Potions room (early of course, she _is_ the model Potions student). The other children trickled in slowly, almost hesitantly. Naruto didn't really get why, Professor Snape was tolerable, and even if he was a bit cranky at times he was still the only sane teacher in the damned school.

However, halfway through Professor Snape's lecture a small mousy-like boy peeked into the room and coughed rather delicately. Snape turned to level a terrifying, pant-shitting glare at him. The boy gulped audibly.

"Um, Miss Uzumaki needs to come with me for the weighing of the wands." He spoke softly. Snape turned towards Naruto and nodded his head before continuing with his lecture. Naruto stood up from her seat besides Hermione, put her materials away, and walked uncertainly towards the small boy. The boy smiled up at her. And then suddenly Naruto was shoved into a room with the other champions and an old man.

The man examined the other's wands before coming upon her. She pulled out her own wand and handed it over to him. He held it in his hand and examined it. After a few minutes his eyes sparkled in curiosity before pointing the wand and shouting a spell that made pretty silver sparks come from her wand. He handed it back to her.

"It's in perfect condition Miss Uzumaki." Naruto nodded at the man, vaguely thinking that this man's sparkly eyes creepily reminded her of Dumbledore.

Naruto was about to turn around and leave when they were crowded together for some 'photos'. A woman in hideous feathered green robes with bright red lipstick and flyaway platinum blonde hair, who said her name was Rita Skeeter, took the pictures with a rather odd camera that had purple smoke fly out of it after a picture was taken. After being posed in several stupid generic poses the woman strutted in front of them and then turned a predatory gaze towards Naruto.

"I'd like to have a word with the fourth champion." Rita said in a crisp voice, she gestured for Naruto to follow her into a different room. Upon entering the room Naruto found that it was not a room but a small broom closet with two chairs set up in it.

"This is a broom closet." She stated bluntly. Rita blinked.

"Yes, isn't it rather cozy?" She sat down in a wooden chair and Naruto did the same.

"So Naruto, tell me about yourself, not only are you a mysterious transfer student, whom Hogwarts rarely accepts, but you have also found yourself in the Triwizard Tournament. Who is Naruto Uzumaki?"

Naruto fiddled around in her seat, "There's nothing really special about me…" She trailed off; Rita scrutinized her behind her bejeweled spectacles.

"Hmm.." She hummed and then suddenly, a floating quill that Naruto had not noticed before began to scribble down notes on a pad of paper. Deciding to ignore it she turned back to the Rita-woman who made her feel like running out of the room in terror.

"What about your parents?" Rita asked.

"I don't have any." Naruto replied, eyes still downcast, she felt that if she looked this woman in the eye she'd burst into flames. Rita however, was delighted by her answer.

"Really? Did they die? Was it…_You Know Who_?"

Naruto shrugged, she wasn't about to tell this woman about her father (whom she recently met…in her stomach, talk about awkward) so she replied, "I don't know, I've been an orphan since birth, I don't have any memories, photos, or even stories about my parents. I have no idea what happened to them, I don't know if they died, or if they just didn't want me."

"Oh you poor child!" Rita said patting her arm as the quill scribbled down notes furiously. "So tell me, how exactly did you enter your name into the cup?" This Naruto had no answer to so once again she shrugged.

"I really have no idea, Rita, I mean; I honestly thought an older student decided to play a prank on me." An idea entered her mind and she turned her puppy-dog eyes on full blast at the woman, "They don't like me much, they're always picking on me." Upon this Naruto burst into fake tears, before wiping them away, "Oh I'm so sorry, I'm such a mess."

"No problem deary." Rita said patting her arm once more, sympathy written all over her face.

"**You are such a good liar, young Padawan." **

"_Shut up, I have to do this, don't you get any ideas about me being your 'long lost heir to evil and destruction', stupid fox." _

"**That is a perfectly plausible theory!" **

"I believe we're finished. Can you please go out and ask for Viktor to come in please, deary?" Rita said smiling at her.

Naruto nodded, and walked out of the room and told Viktor (who had apparently gotten his eyebrows back for they were as serious as ever) that the reporter wanted to ask him some questions. Viktor sighed and strode towards the room.

"_I swear, I should've just used my puppy-dog eyes on Pein, it would've saved me lots of trouble." _Naruto thought. She sighed as she sat down by Cedric.

"This is rather time-consuming, isn't it?" Naruto said, setting her head on Cedric's shoulder. Cedric's mouth twitched into a smile.

"It's only been five minutes since you walked in there, you know."

Naruto sighed even more dramatically, "Really? It felt like eternity…" She glanced over at Dumbledore, who had been standing there throughout the whole ordeal (odd she hadn't noticed him before...), twinkling creepily. "Maa, old man, may I go back to class now?" Dumbledore nodded at her briefly and Naruto immediately jumped up and dashed out the door. However, while running towards out of the interview room, Naruto had the weirdest urge to go pee. She immediately spun around in a wild pee-pee dance before she saw a door marked Girl's Lavatory. Sighing in relief she yanked the door open and dashed into a stall.

However, after she was through with her, erm, "business" she noticed that the restroom was strangely empty. There were always students hiding in restrooms, trying to skip a class they dread, or doing some type of mischief.

"Hello?" She called, cupping her hands to her face, "Anyone there?" After waiting for a minute and hearing no reply she turned around and was about to walk out of the restroom when she heard a forlorn moan.

"Whyyyy doesss everyone ruuuunnn from meeee?" Suddenly a transparent figure floated out from a toiled. "Whyyyy?"

Naruto squirmed; even though she had spend the last two months here ghosts (especially frightening ones like Binns) still made her nervous. "I'm not running! So, uh, what's your name?"

The ghost-girl looked at her disdainfully, "Sooo you're hear to make fuuun of mee theennn." The girl let out a high pitched wail.

"No! No! I'm honestly curious!"

"They call mee Moaning Myrtle." The girl then moaned loudly as if to prove everyone's point. And then before Naruto could get a word in edgewise the girl let out another screech before sobbing and flying into the toilet.

"Uhh, I love your choice of living, Myrtle; I hear all the cool ghosts live in the sewage now-a-days…" Naruto trailed off before looking around awkwardly and dashing out of the bathroom.

When she finally made her way back to Potions everyone was already putting all of their materials away. She groaned and plodded over to Hermione.

"That was _horrible_." Naruto hissed out as she waited for Hermione to finish putting everything away. Hermione finished moments later and turned to her.

"How was it horrible?" She asked, eyes glittering with curiosity.

"Well first there was this old guy who 'weighed' our wands. And then we had to take pictures, Mione, and and and then this creepy woman named Rita Skeeter was all like, "WHO IS THE REAL NARUTO UZUMAKI." And I had no idea what to do, and then when I was released I had to go pee so I dashed into the nearest restroom and there was a ghost who cried a lot and lived in a toilet!" Naruto whined as they stomped their way to Care of Magical Creatures. "Then to top it all off, Ron is being a butt face and is refusing to talk to me for no reason!"

"Well Naruto, Ron will get over his immaturity eventually don't sweat it." Hermione said nodding as they closed in on Hagrid's hut. After waiting for everyone to finally arrive at class Hagrid walked out.

"Today we ha' a special treat fer ya! I recently caught two unidentified creatures and you'll be helping me test them!" Hagrid bustled over to the side of his hut where he pushed a large cage over to them.

Zetsu had fallen asleep in his misery but was now nudged awake by Madara.

"Zetty-chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan wake up we has visitorrrrrsss!" Zetsu blinked awake only to see the Kyuubi jinchuuriki staring at them in amusement, pity, and wariness…although it was mostly amusement.

Naruto grinned as an idea popped into her head.

"OH MY! You have caught two rare…Zetdaras!" Naruto exclaimed in wonder, grinning at Zetsu who was staring at her cautiously. Hagrid blinked at her.

"You mean to say you know this type of creature?"

"Oh yeah, they're very rare, very very rare, in fact there's only…forty left in existence, usually they're only found where I live, so…" Naruto trailed off.

"Teach us more." Hagrid exclaimed and suddenly everyone in the class was paying attention to her. Naruto smirked; it was time for some sweet, sweet revenge.

"Well first off they live in only the finest dragon dung, they also eat practically any type of organs, although they prefer them raw, it has been known that they will eat them cooked if they're hungry enough." Then Naruto pointed to Zetsu who was glaring at her full on now, "That is the female, she is particularly finicky and quite moody, the male however," she now pointed to Madara, "is far more agreeable."

"How do they mate? I want to help the population!"

"Well…" Naruto summoned two dolls that looked suspiciously like Madara and Zetsu, "They mate kind of like this…" She trailed off as she twisted the dolls around.

"THAT'S DISGUSTING!" Zetsu screamed at the position the two dolls were now in.

Naruto snickered in her head as she went on, "These creatures are so rare because the females have a hard time conceiving a child. One may have to mate the two creatures many, many, _many_ times." Naruto turned her head around 180 degrees to grin at Zetsu who was twitching in horror.

"Zetty-chan, Ilovethyou." Madara said throwing himself on the plant-man.

Zetsu sobbed softly as everyone paid rapt attention to the lie-spreading jinchuuriki.

…

Voldemort sat in his chair while unfurling a small piece of parchment. His loyal servant had once again given him an update by owl. After waving the owl away (no he didn't have any god damned owl treats!) his eyes scanned the page.

_Hey Voldie, like everything's alright, y'know? I mean nothing's really changed. But like, two more people have like, entered Hogwarts by like suspicious means. They are totally like being held by like Hagrid like. Ugh, like totally Voldie, the students are like total idiots. They like actually believe that the two are some type of mystical creatures that like Hagrid found. And like the Naruto kid isn't making it any better. I think that those two could help me if I could just like get them out of the clutches of the big one, totally. And like, the kids totally think that I can't like hear them when they make fun of me. Or like, I can't see who threw that spitball at me. Like, what do they take me for? But I don't like care; I'm not here to make friends. Tch, like, yeah, whatever, writes to you later. _

_-Your like totally faithful servant like yeah. _

So his like totally faithful servant like yeah thought that the two could be a great help to his cause? Getting Wormtail to prepare to write his reply back he thought about what he should say, finally he began to speak (causing Wormtail to write).

_Oh my gosh, like if you totally think that like, they could be like a help to us then you should like, totally free them and stuff like. And then you could like, totally like convert them to our side. Free them from the like half giant and like I dunno, do stuff like and then like send them to me like, so I can like use them at my disposal like. So yeah, I know the students are like mean and stuff, I can like totally kill them once I'm like gorgeous ruler of the world. So like, don't worry, like you'll like get your revenge. _

_-Like the most awesomest ruler ever like _

…

**So yeah, let the pelting of the rocks begin? **

**BUT THIS CHAPTER WAS 3000 WORDS! THAT'S 1000 MORE THAN AVERAGE! **

**C: **

**AND AS PAYMENT I'LL HAVE THE NEXT CHAPTER OUT BY NEXT WEEK….ISH I PROMISE. **

**-Nacho **


	12. Chapter 12

**Pranksterz **

**By: Pretty Nacho**

**AN:/ -bricked- that is all.**

* * *

Zetsu felt his eyes twitch involuntarily. That was the first sign that he was about to go completely insane. He clenched at the bars of the gate, if only this giant man's mystical device of torture did not suck all of the chakra out of his body. He glared at the bars and briefly wondered if they tasted as shiny as they looked- no damn it! He was not going to fail this mission, no matter how easy it seemed to go completely bonkers, at that moment. Those innards that Madara had been eating seemed almost appetizing…

Finally a man approached them masked with billowy robes and all, Zetsu starred at the man through the bars of the box.

"Who're you?" Zetsu slightly slurred, trying to keep what was left of his common sense and sanity. The man stared at him in confusion for a second before pointing a wand at him and murmuring some strange words. Zetsu shuddered as a beam of maroon colored light hit his throat and a tingling sensation passed through his body.

"What the hell was that?" Zetsu said, pointing an accusing finger at the man gripping at the bars even more tightly.

"That, my friend was a translation spell." The man replied, seeming very pleased with himself.

"You can understand me now?" Zetsu asked, hope springing up within the weathered plant-man-thing. The man nodded briefly.

"And I swear to break you and your friend out of here if you agree to support our cause."

"Yes, yes, a thousand times yes." Zetsu said, sobbing.

"Good, good." The man said, "Now because that oaf Hagrid used metal infused with the power of butterfly nets I must break you out in a completely muggle way, but you'll be free."

"Anything, I'll do anything." Zetsu exclaimed, only hearing the words "break, out, and free."

"Alright then," the man then handed Zetsu an odd looking device while the man held a controller.

"What's this?"

"Not a _bomb_, if that's what you're asking!" The man chuckled nervously before backing up a few steps.

"Um, kay…" Zetsu said, before seeing the man duck behind a tree before pressing a big red button, Zetsu held his breath waiting for something to happen. The man looked confused before pressing the button three more times. Finally the man got up and moved up to the cage.

"Hm, this one must be fault-"

And with that Zetsu's world exploded in flames. Madara, who had been asleep the whole time awoke and screamed.

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, KEEP IT DOWN OUT THERE." McGonagall screamed from her window, towel clenched around herself, shower cap slightly disheveled. Stupid students, disturbing her bath time. McGonagall turned around, "Sorry about that Mr. Duck, would you like some more tea?"

* * *

"I didn't do it!" Naruto shouted as she was shocked awake by the explosion, before blinking sleepily. She plodded to the window to see a mushroom like cloud by Hagrid's Hut. She blinked, once, twice, thrice. "Daaaaaamn." She exclaimed, stretching before heading up the stairs to take a shower.

Once she was finished she stepped down the stairs to find Harry and Ron awake. She waved to them only to have Ron turn away and stomp off. Harry shook his head in a, "don't look at me, I don't know what the fuck's going on" type manner before taking off towards his best friend and hopefully to get a glimpse of Cho.

Naruto hummed and began to plot in her head; well the prank on Viktor didn't work, so she'd have to find something else to do to get Ron's head out of his ass. She tapped her chin in thought as she walked down the corridors to get breakfast. While she was walking down the halls she bumped into Draco Malfoy who immediately leapt backwards before straightening his robes and settling into a kung-fu pose, glancing around in terror.

Naruto waved her hand dismissively, "Don't worry teme; I have bigger problems to deal with than you at the moment."

"Like I'm going to believe that," Draco said, backing away quickly, "You aren't going to get me this time Uzumaki." Draco said chuckling insanely before turning around and booking down the hall.

"_Maybe I went too far with him…Nah, he's fine." _

Naruto then skipped into the Great Hall, Ron then glared at her before taking two handfuls of bacon and shoving them in his robe pockets before storming off angrily. Naruto sat down and stared at the delicious food before shoving it into her mouth, still thinking. She needed a way to get Ron to open up about his feelings and tell her what he…erm…felt, essentially.

Naruto grinned as the answer popped into her head crystal clear.

"_A chick-flick marathon." _

Hermione walked in fifteen minutes later, yawning.

"Sorry I'm late guys, Lavender was taking forever in the bathroom as usual." Hermione leaned in and whispered to Naruto, "She ate those bad burritos last night." Naruto winced in sympathy. She beckoned Hermione closer and told her about her plan to get Ron to open up. Hermione contemplated this.

"Yes, it is a good plan, but it wouldn't work." Hermione nodded sagely, "Electronics don't work on Hogwarts grounds."

Naruto's eyes shone bright with determination.

"Where there's a will, there's a way."

* * *

Lee and Luna were walking the grounds hand in hand, not even batting an eye as people avoided them and ran away upon sight. Luna and Lee were okay when dealt with separately, but together was a whole new level of "Holy Shit What In The World Is Wrong With Them-ness". They were often seen screaming at each other while making onion charm bracelets and carving "Lee + Luna 4ever" into the trunks of trees while simultaneously doing one-armed push-ups.

A match made in Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.

However, the worse part was when Luna and Lee were sappy-romantic to each other. Rumor was that a small Ravenclaw second year saw them serenading each other and was shipped off to Mungo's the next day.

The very thought made the students of Hogwarts shiver.

The only one who could seem to handle large amounts of Lee and Luna-ness was Naruto, then again she wasn't particularly normal herself, so it was understood between students not to get involved with the couple in anyway, shape, or form. This was fine by Lee and Luna, since everyone expresses their passion of fiery youth in different forms.

"Lee my love, I am afraid you have Sinikicers all over your mouth, let me youthfully kiss them away."

"Yosh Luna, kiss them away so I can retain my youth." Lee replied, waggling his squirrels- I mean eyebrows suggestively.

"GUYS WAIT, I NEED YOUR HELP!" Naruto exclaimed splitting them apart before Luna could kiss 'away' Lee's Sinikicers. Lee immediately stood up followed by Luna who both gave Naruto thumbs up.

"WHAT CAN WE HELP YOU WITH, YOUTHFUL FRIEND OF YOUTH?" Lee shouted, burning fireballs of passion in his eyes.

"Well you see, ever since my name came out of the Goblet of Fire Ron's been acting like a total jerk face, so I've decided to soften up by using the ultimate power of chick flicks, but Hermione said that electronics cannot work on Hogwart's grounds!" Naruto said, hoping there was some way around it, chick flicks had never failed her before!

* * *

Flashback.

_Naruto stared at Nagato, she wanted to kill him, and she could kill him, but...she could not. She would not. She looked at Nagato in the eyes. _

"_This is not true peace." _

_With that she summoned her T.V. set and tied Nagato up before picking up a movie. Nagato stared at it inquisitively. _

"_The Note…book?" _

_Naruto nodded sagely before inserting the movie. _

_-A Heartbreaking Story Later- _

"_I was wrong!" Nagato sobbed, "I know the true meaning of peace and life now, and I know what I must do." With that he performed the jutsu that brought everyone back to life, and he died, with his heart light. _

* * *

Lee looked contemplative for a second before a rather bright light bulb shone above his head, "NARUTO-CHAN! REMEMBER THOSE PORTABLE T.V.s THEY WOULD SELL TO NINJA ON LONG MISSIONS THAT RAN ON CHAKRA?"

Naruto stared at Lee for a moment before pouncing on Lee and engulfing him with a hug, "Lee you're a genius I promise to never prank you again, ever, except for maybe on April Fool's!"

"NARUTO!"

"LEE!"

"NARUTO!"

"LEE!"

And with exchanges said Naruto left Lee's friendly embrace and dashed off to fulfill her plan. Lee then turned back to Luna who was smiling off in the direction Naruto ran. He wriggled his eyebrows once more.

"Tell me more about these Sinikicers…"

* * *

Naruto, Pavarti, Katie-Bell, Lavender, Hermione, and Angelina all sat on Naruto's couch in front of the T.V. Naruto was holding a few wires which she'd pump chakra through, allowing the television set to work.

"Naruto, you never cease to amaze me." Hermione stated proudly looking at the T.V. Naruto grinned at her cheekily.

"Now everyone, as soon as Ron Weasley walks through those doors we shall capture him and force him to watch all of these heartbreaking movies. The Notebook, A Walk To Remember, and Titanic." Naruto said, pointing to each movie.

The girls nodded seriously, just then the portrait open and Ron walked in innocently not knowing what to expect.

* * *

"It's just so inspiring!" Ron sobbed into Angelina's shoulder, "The way that in the end, true love prevailed over all odds, even in death, love couldn't keep the two lovers apart!" The other girls, who were also crying, nodded along with him, blowing their noses and dabbing at their eyes. Ron finally got himself together and encased Naruto in a hug.

"My dear friend, I'm so sorry! It's just, Harry's got his fame, Hermione's got her smarts, and I'm just dumb old Ron! I used to take pride in eating, but you took that away from me! And now you're in the Tournament and I'm so worried!" Ron sobs started anew and Naruto patted his head, wiping away her own tears.

"Ron, I- I never knew! I'm so sorry! I didn't know!"

That was when the twins and Harry walked in; they stared at the scene before they pointed at Ron and started laughing, "Ron mate, why are you crying like a wimp with a bunch of girls!" All of the girls immediately leapt to their new BFF's aid.

"WHAT?" Pavarti screeched, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN A BUNCH OF GIRLS!"

"YEAH!" Hermione said, "AT LEAST RON ISN'T AN INSENSITIVE JERK LIKE YOU GUYS!"

"AND I RATHER DATE A GUY WHO 'CRIES LIKE A WIMP' OVER EITHER OF YOU ANYWAY!"

"YEAH!"

"YEAH!"

"WELL SAID SISTER!"

With that each of the girls (including Naruto) and Ron z-snapped and stormed upstairs to the girl's dorms.

* * *

The Lord's like totally faithful servant like yeah as well as the two elite shinobi arrived at the Manor, slightly singed, but still intact. Madara straightened his robe (or what was left of it), the tiny sparkle of insanity gone from his eyes. He turned and spoke to the man.

"Thank you for rescuing us from that horrible prison."

Zetsu wanted to cry, because Madara was back and not insane, well, at least not as insane as he was still in the cage. Because Madara's still insane, just not totally off the edge of the cliff insane.

"BOSS YOU'RE BACK!" Zetsu screamed, hopping onto Madara, still holding back the tears of happiness.

"Yes, now we shall restore Akatsuki to its former glory!" Madara said, raising his hands to the sky.

The man coughed, "No, sorry you have to help my Lord return to his former glory."

"What? No, Akatsuki's first!"

"Sorry man but the plant-thing over there _pinky-promised_ that you two would help our cause if I freed you." The man shrugged.

Madara turned on Zetsu, "You pinky-promised?"

Zetsu cowered, "I was going insane! I couldn't stand another minute in that cage!"

Madara sighed, "There's nothing we can do now, you have made the bond that cannot be broken." Madara turned to the man. "Take us to your Lord."

* * *

Naruto awoke before plodding down to the Common Room; she had crashed in the girl's dorms after painting Lavender's toenails every color of the rainbow. Her eyes widened at the sight she saw.

Harry, Lucy, and Priscilla were staring at the T.V. with puffy blood-shot eyes, a pile of used tissues about as tall as her stood next to the couch. The three boys were clinging onto each other, sobbing uncontrollably.

"It's even more special the eighth time! No Jack, you can't leave Rose!"

Naruto grinned before disrupting their "marathon".

"Well, well."

* * *

"Ewww." Madara said, "That's your Lord? You sure it's not your pet worm or something?"

"Shh," said another man, identified as Wormtail, "He's tired." Wormtail patted the worm-thing on the back before cradling it in his arms. "Can you pass me the bottle of warm milk?" Zetsu passed the bottle dutifully over to the man. Wormtail immediately began to feed the Dark Lord. "Oh yes, who's the most coochie-coochie biggest, baddest, evilest, lord out there? You are! Yes, a goo-goo baa-baa gee-gee, oh, what's that? I think someone made an uh-oh, oh yes he did, yes he did!" Wormtail bustled out of the room to get a package of diapers.

The man (who was still not yet to be identified) wiped a tear from his eye, "So precious, our little Voldemort, going to grow up to destroy the world."

Madara twitched and turned to Zetsu, "If you weren't so useful, I'd kill you."

"Sorry boss!"

* * *

**DX I don't want to bore you with a few hundred words about how my life has been these past, whoa, 6 months. So I'll just say "life got in the way". I feel really, really, really, bad about me screaming, "I SHALL UPDATE IN A WEEK, I PROMISES" and then not updating for the _longest _time. Because I'm a jerkface. **

**And I know some people are like, "POWA TO THE AUTHORS WE UPDATES WHEN WE WANT TO BECAUSE WE HAVE LIVES –powerfist-." **

**But I still feel bad. **

**I read all of your reviews, and they made me smile a lot~ so thank you so much! Also a person suggested I go back and space my first chapters because they were all bunched together, so I will be doing that, since tomorrow is a half-day. I'll go back and space them and make them easier to read! **

**Forgiveness? /openarmhug/ **

**-Nacho **


	13. Chapter 13

**Pranksterz **

**By: Pretty Nacho **

**AN:/ Hello. LOOK IT'S AN UPDATE. I AM NOT DEAD- **_**POW**_** I've been shot…help. Can barely type. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter nor Naruto. **

* * *

The three boys turned off the T.V. and spun around to face Naruto sheepishly. The tears seemed to have disappeared leaving worried, puffy eyes.

"Hello Naruto!" Harry chuckled.

Naruto shook her head and said three words that made them tremble, "I'm. Telling. Ron." With that she made a break for the stairs leading up to the girl's dorms while the three stumbled after her.

"Ron! Ron!" She cried, waking everyone up, "Ron, guess what?" Naruto burst into the dorms where Ron was sleepily rubbing his eyes. "Ron, I caught Lucy, Priscilla, and Harry watching the movies! After they made fun of you for it, too!"

The three boys (who had clattered in shortly after Naruto) tried to make an escape but were stopped. The girls circled around them, all of them grinning evilly. Harry bowed his head and made the sign of the cross.

"So, Ron cries like a wimp, right?"

"What did you guys do after watching those movies?"

Fred stuttered, "W-well we didn't do anything, because we're men!" The girls turned to Naruto for confirmation; she shook her head, still grinning.

"Nope, they were sobbing! There's a pile of tissues downstairs to prove it!"

The girls closed in before Hermione stepped in, "Guys, stop."

"Thank you Hermione!" Harry shouted, falling to her feet.

"You can taunt them later," Hermione shook Harry off of her leg, "But we all need to get ready or we're going to be late for classes!"

Each of the girls took a glance at the clock before mumbling and going about her business, Ron left to take a shower in the boy's dorm and Naruto escorted the twins and Harry out of the room.

George straightened his robes before glaring at Naruto, "Not cool."

Naruto grinned and patted his cheek before saying meaningfully, "I'm mean to you guys because I love you." She then went back into the girl's dorms to get ready.

Fred and George stood there staring at each other, obviously having a telepathic conversation. Harry waved his hand in front of their faces a few times before shrugging and turning around to leave.

"Mate-"  
"Do you think?"  
"Nah…"

* * *

The classes went by rather slowly, nothing that Naruto hadn't gotten used to over the past few months. It wasn't until Care of Magical Creatures the shock came.

"They're gone!" Hagrid sobbed, "The both o' them! Gone!" The tears ran down his beard while all the Gryffindors crowded around him

"Who's gone Hagrid?" Hermione asked, patting him on the back.

"The Zetdaras, they, they, they **exploded**!"

"When?"

"Just yesterday! There was an explosion by my hut and I dashed out to find them both gone! I'm a horrible grounds keeper and teacher!"

Naruto paled, oh shit, they were out, oh shit oh shit oh shit, she was totally fucked, unless of course they were forced into some binding pinky-promise contract to a loser and couldn't harm her without his permission, but even then, she might need help, other than Lee, to take them down.

She knew what she must do.

* * *

"Priscilla, Lucy." Naruto called as she backed them into a corner, "I have a proposition for you." She cracked her knuckles as Lee popped up from behind her.

The twins looked at the both of them in suspicion, as Lee normally went along with whatever devious, twisted plan Naruto had come up with.

"Yes-"

"Naruto, what-"

"do you want?" They asked, narrowing their eyes to look intimidating.

"Guys, me and Lee, we're going to train and teach you along with Harry, Ron, and Hermione…well we haven't told them yet but, yay for you!"

"HA-"

"YOUR PLAN FAILED-"

"WE'RE BOOBY-TRAPPED!" With that the twins flung both of their robes open to show an array of brightly colored and magically lit fireworks strapped to their regular pants and shirts.

"Wait, what was that again?" Fred asked double-taking as the fireworks exploded brightly.

A few seconds later, a singed Naruto was glaring at them, totally ready to go Tsunade-Death-Punch on them, but she refrained, that's when she noticed that the Twins and Lee were naked.

"Wait, how did Lee's clothes disappear and not mine?" Naruto said aloud glancing down at herself, "Not that I don't enjoy the view!" Naruto cackled insanely, leering over the twins who were covering themselves modestly.

Lee, however, embraced his new state and flung his arms open, running around, "YOOOOOUTH!" He then dashed away, dying to show his new youthful state.

"Jesus!" Naruto said, covering her eyes, "I could've gone my whole life without witnessing that."

"Does anyone else see a bright, white light?" George, who hadn't covered his eyes in time, whimpered, "I see a bright white light!"

"I- I just, ugh," Naruto said, hands still over her eyes, "I'll talk to you guys later about this, I'm, I'm sorry, I think I'm going to be sick."

Needless to say, only Luna really enjoyed the show that Lee offered.

* * *

A few hours later, Naruto was tapped on the shoulder by Ron.

"Hagrid needs to see you tonight," he said in a serious tone, "It has to do about the _Tri-Wizard Tournament." _

Naruto blinked, honestly she had forgotten all about the Tournament, it was obviously shadowed by all of the awesome pranking she had to pull. Oh, and the fact that there might be two Kage level ninja out for her blood at any moment, but it was mainly the pranks.

"Oh, okay, thanks for telling me."

"No problem."

That night Naruto trudged down to Hagrid's hut, stealthily of course, it _was_ after curfew. Hagrid seemed to actually be dressed up for the occasion.

"Oh Hagrid, are you all dressed up for little old me?" Naruto fluttered her eyelashes ridiculously as Hagrid blushed, "Your hair is even combed!"

"Now then, you're gon' haffa lay low fer a while." Hagrid straightened, "There's someone else comin' wit' us."

It was then Naruto saw the towering woman lumbering towards them. She nudged Hagrid in this side and winked.

"You looking to get a somethin' somethin'?" She giggled but nonetheless climbed up into a tree to conceal herself.

The woman stopped by Hagrid and linked her arm with his.

"Hello, Madame Maxine."

"Hagrid."

Naruto sighed and mouthed "giant love" before jumping to the next tree to follow them.

A couple of minutes later and Naruto heard shouting and saw a large stretch of fire scorch a few trees.

"Oh… magnificent!" Madame Maxine exclaimed staring at whatever it was.

Naruto hopped to another tree and nearly peed herself at the sight of four caged dragons. She put it all together and cursed, _dragons_ were the first task. God damn it, it was times like these she really wished she had invested more time into learning water techniques.

"Can we get closer?" The large headmistress asked her eyes getting wider and wider. Naruto snorted; did she not hear the cries of the workers handling the large reptiles?

"_Crap, put out that fire!" _

"_Watch out for that Horntail, she's a nasty one!" _

"_I need some water!" _

"_Hey, what do you think would happen if I farted right now, do you think- do you think it would explode?" _

Naruto swiveled around on her place on the branch as she heard a gasping noise The Bulgarian Headmaster dude was looking upon the dragons in terror. She rolled her eyes, so now, every champion would know about the dragons. Well, except for Cedric.

Ah fuck.

"_I'm going to have to do the right thing here, aren't I?" _Naruto thought.

"**You don't have to if you join the ****Dark Side****." **

"_Shut up." _

* * *

Naruto stalked down the halls looking for the Diggory boy when her path was blocked by a few Hufflepuffs. They grinned as they bumped into her rudely and pointed to their robes. Pinned on their robes was a bright and rather large badge that read:

"Support Cedric Diggory, the true Hogwarts Champion!"

They then tapped the badge and Naruto watched as it morphed into a picture of her face being melted with bright green words that said, "Naruto Stinks."

"Aw, how cute," she cooed before kneeing all of the Hufflepuffs right in the groin, "and if you ever stop me **just** to show me those badges again I swear I will tear your precious male bits off with my bare hands."

Finally she found Cedric talking with a few of his friends and laughing.

"I need to speak with you." Naruto said curtly, tugging him away by his robes.

"Excuse me," Cedric said as Naruto pulled him into a secluded space, "So, you're finally giving into your desire for me?"

"Dragons." She blurted out.

"What?"

"Dragons are the first task, big scaly things that fly and breathe fire, the others already know, so I thought it was only fair…"

"Oh shit."

"My thoughts _exactly_."

"Well thanks I guess, oh and about the badges, I've been asking them to not wear them-"

"It's fine, but let them know that if any of them tries to approach me they'll be hurt." Naruto's eyes glinted madly at this before she turned around and walked away.

A few paces later she ran into Draco-teme, what a _surprise_, really.

"Hello Naruto," Draco said his dumb lackeys surrounding him, "I've made a bet with my father, you see, I don't think you'll last ten minutes in the Tournament…He thinks you won't last five."

"Kind of creepy considering your father and I have never met," Naruto commented before inspecting him, "Your hair has grown back nicely hasn't it?"

Naruto took pleasure in the fact that he only took two seconds to run away, his lackeys trailing after him confusedly.

* * *

"GAI, USE KONOHA SENPU!"

"KONOHAA SENPUUU!"

"Machop is unable to battle, Gai and Ash win!"

"Ha-ha yeah! We did it Gai!"

"You are truly a great pokemon trainer," The gym leader said putting a hand on Ash's shoulder, "You deserve this badge."

"YEAH!" Ash pumped a fist in the air, "C'mon Gai, time for a rest, you deserve it!"

"No, please, not the pokeball, not the poke-"

_And with that said Ash continued on his journey to become a Pokemon MASTER. _

_GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL__**…POKEMON**_

* * *

Kisame awoke, blinking his eyes slowly, "White Zetsu! Oh thank god! I had this horrible dream that I was kissing Itachi and- wait, Black Zetsu? What are you doing? Oh god! Oh god! OH GOD! It's all real! Please no more!"

"I love you Kakuzu…" He heard Hidan mumble.

"THE HORROR! WAIT, WHAT- WHAT ARE YOU DOING, OH GOD THAT'S- NOOOOO!" Kisame flailed as he made for the exit, only to find it was blocked.

* * *

"I cannot believe we've been forced to do this." Madara mumbled as he picked up a plastic bag filled with dirty diapers and walked it over to the garbage bin.

"Your subordinate pinky-promised," the weird worm thing named Voldemort spoke, "now you must clean my doody."

"Now you must clean my doody." Madara mocked as he heated up a bottle of warm milk for the creature. As soon as this was over he was totally killing Zetsu, however, he felt disappointed in the plant-man as well, he had drilled into the minds of everyone in Akatsuki to never engage in a pinky promise without his express permission.

He brought the bottle to the worm's mouth before it spit out the milk.

"That was not cooked properly fool! _Now I must punish you_." It held a gnarled white stick towards his face.

Madara fell to the floor and writhed, tears forming at the corner of his eyes he opened his mouth to beg for the worm-thing to stop but he couldn't form articulate syllables.

Later he sat down by Zetsu with a haggard look on his face.

"Oh my god, Madara-sama, what did he do to you?"

Madara closed his eyes, the pain evident upon him, "He- he- he _tickled_ me with a spell of some sort!"

Zetsu couldn't comfort Madara with words; instead he just circled his arms around him in a comforting hug.

"It'll be okay, it'll be okay."

* * *

Sirius sent off the owl to his godson with his scrap of a note attached, he had arrived only a few days prior and was starving. The note told Harry to meet him during the first Hogsmeade weekend and to bring food. And lots of it. He was starving.

He stared out at the castle wondering what exactly could have compelled him to come here.

Whatever it was, it was probably epic.

Like, a prank war.

* * *

**Yep, so this chapter is done. **

**Yep. **

**Mmhmm. **

**For real. **

**Really really.**

**I also now realized that me being dumb, I forgot to edit the rest of the unedited chapters. **

**snap. **

**-Nacho **


End file.
